Church Bulletins

They’re Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church typos. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:



The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.


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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’


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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.


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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.


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Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.


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Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.


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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.


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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.


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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.


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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..


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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.


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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.


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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.


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About the writer: Penny Golden

Publisher of the Body Mind Spirit Guide

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