Change is Our Friend, Not our Enemy
I know, I know, I know. How many conversations have we had about change? If you’re all about growth and becoming, like I think you are, you’ve had a conversation or 100 about how changes affected you. That being said, I think this is still an important topic to explore because most of us are still having a difficult time embracing change to the fullest. We brace ourselves, in a negative or tense way, for the potential negative consequences of change; even when it’s good news, such as a new position or job we’ve been coveting. Amongst the feelings of joy and happiness, our psyche sneaks in worry about the new experiences because they are different. Today, there are so many changes or new experiences happening that many did not think were possible and because of this, we are seeing front row and center how those around us manage change; some are more afraid than others. How do you manage change?
For many, change will be a subconscious fear-based response. It seems the idea of change itself is the barrier to embracing a new idea or way of life. It’s not that we don’t want to think more positively for example, it’s the implication and anxiety of the unknown. So, even though things might get better if I…I’d rather stay here because I know what to expect. This is our subconscious belief system ruling our functioning, that I mentioned. There are so many reasons, and most are good reasons, for thinking change is a negative experience. They are all personal and unique to your experiences. Do yourself a favor and get to know those reasons about yourself.
For others, and I’m sure this is you, change is something contemplated. Time is spent breaking down and dissecting your personal biases or fears associated with change. By understanding beforehand how you might perceive or define change, you are being proactive about making conscious choices about change. For example, you might say to yourself, “I am safe and embrace all changes with ease.” This might need to be said and thought a lot before fears are dissipated around change, because you are reprogramming your beliefs and values. Choosing to think all change is positive is like having to pave a new road or pathway in the middle of the forest, or for some, it might be the jungle. You have to cut down all the trees and debris, level the ground, and put down sand, pea gravel, cement or pavement. Think of all the equipment, tools, and manpower needed to complete this task.
To help me embrace change, I like to put up signs or reminders. One of my reminders is a large jar of change collecting at The Indigo Doors saying:
“Here collects change in celebration of change in our lives.
Every time I put change in here I honor the beauty, significance, and perfection of change in my life.
All change in my life is positive and loving! I embrace it, free of fear and doubt. Thank you change for helping me know myself and become the grandest expression of myself.”
I have yet to meet anyone who has no bias or fears associated with change. So, be nice to yourself! Be gentle when you realize that you are afraid or have doubt associated with change! It is comfortable to stay with what you know and change is an opportunity to express your greatness to its fullest. Both are true. And, I choose with intent to embrace lovingly, all change with ease!
About the writer: Brenda Tringali
Brenda Tringali BA, MA, MSW, RM, QTP Brenda is a co-founder of The Indigo Doors: A center for the whole being. She has 20 years experience with hands on healing . She is a counselor helping couples, families and individuals create the life they want. She combines the healing arts with her knowledge of psychotherapy to create a unique and effective healing experience. Please feel free to contact (586) 359-2959 and [email protected]