How to Help Children Hang onto Their Self-Concept of Love

We know that children are closest to Source, or whatever name you use for pure love. Little ones are happy and in the moment. For sure BOTH children and adults get ornery. But kids can let it go quickly, and shift their moods. We adults have a harder time doing that. So it is our job NOT to influence them with our bad moods and nasty words.

We adults have such an impact on the children in our lives. We also have the responsibility to give them permission to shut off the influence of those who can hurt or affect their self-esteem and happiness. We never want a child who hears an adult’s terrible words make them their own. I know we are human and we lose our temper and say things we should not. Sometimes we say things out of impatience or being tired, that don’t match the reality or intensity of the situation. When children hear us, or other adults, spouting anger or nastiness, they can think it is about them.

Thank goodness children are wise and seem to know the difference between a difficult day, a bad mood, rotten timing, and something more consistent and targeted. Children look to us adults for confirmation and validation about what the world is telling them. I am not suggesting we put our children in safe bubbles so as never to experience pain or hurt feelings. These times are a part of learning and being better, stronger, wiser and braver, but when deeper cuts are made into a child’s self-concept, the harm is harder to repair.

What we CAN do is give our children independence of mind and permission to recognize an adult’s behavior as wrong. We can teach our child that being kind and respectful doesn’t necessarily mean accepting someone’s behavior or beliefs. We can also become more self-aware, and change our not-so-great moods faster so that we do not influence our children’s feelings and thoughts. Let’s keep children as close to “Pure Love” for as long as possible.

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About the writer: Faith Bower

Faith Brower is an Early Childhood Educator and Director, She has her Bachelors in English and Masters in Early Childhood Leadership. She has served in various roles at Unity Churches in Chicago and the Greater Detroit area. Faith is currently writing books for children and adults to help support them in maneuvering through divorce and death experiences.

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