During that big blizzard on the High Plains last winter, a couple shy guys died at the same time and went to meet Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, “I’d like to get you guys in now, but we’ve had a virus problem and all our information systems are down. You’ll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can’t go back as humans. What’ll it be?”
The first shy guy says, “I’ve always wanted to be an eagle, soaring high above the Rocky Mountains.”
“So be it,” says St. Peter, and the first guy disappears.
The second shy guy mulls this over for a moment and asks, “Will any of this week’s activities ‘count’ against me getting into heaven?”
St. Peter: “No, as I told you, all systems are down. There’s no way we can keep track of what you’re doing.”
“In that case,” says the second guy, “I’ve always wanted to be a stud.”
“So be it” says St. Peter, and the second guy disappears.
A week goes by, systems are back up and running, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two shy guys. “Do you think you have any trouble locating them?”
“The first one should be easy,” says St. Peter. “He’s somewhere over by Pike’s Peak, flying with a bunch of eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult.”
“Why?” asketh the Lord.
St. Peter: “I think he’s somewhere in South Dakota, on a snow tire.”