Become a Star


All of Life is seeking to love you if you would only let it in. You lack nothing. You are created from the same energy as the stars, Christ and the forest. You are a thread of an intrinsic web that is a complete representation of a greater system.

My intent is that you feel the wholeness and fullness of your Being by realizing that all your needs are met. I cannot emphasize enough the life-changing effects of recognizing a need as important. Just from this one simple process, I have seen profound change in my own life, in people I mentor, and during both individual sessions and retreats. When you see your need without adding shame or trying to make it happen, the Universe answers it.

Psychologically, we must first do the inner work of recognizing a need and not adding the garbage on top of it. Spiritually, when we see a need/desire/dream as important we touch our soul and feel in that moment that all our needs are met. When we feel all of our needs are met, Universe/Life matches our feeling. We get stuck when we have not been taught this process, or when we are not willing to do the psychological inner work of uncovering a need. Many of us are taught to mentally strain, and just have faith that Life/God is working for us. Faith without a foundation of self-love has no foundation. What I am teaching here requires no mental proving to keep alive and it allows you to FEEL Life/God in your bones and body.

The mind provides a bookmark for personal insight but is not how you embody Love/God/Christ energy as you. God is not a mental construct that you must believe really hard to make real. Your life is God. You are an expression of God. Why would you have to believe and mentally struggle to find something that really only requires a compassionate inward glance? To feel Life/God working on your behalf, you must do the inner work of recognizing your emotions and needs.

Unfortunately, the very process of feeling God/Life in our cells as a living embodiment is sometimes judged as weak. When you honor your needs, self-love is seen as a luxury and not the core foundation to your divine connection. Your emotions and needs are the soil to everything you express in your life. Every emotion is an expression of an unmet need. When you try to find God or happiness in the mind; you will see emotions as something to push past, analyze or ignore.

Emotions (fear, doubt, anger, grief) are what got you on the road of suffering, but they can also get you off that road. The off ramp IS the on ramp. You suffer when you try to avoid pain through co-dependent relationships, addictions and self-sabotage. When you witness an emotion and then ask what you need, you tap into the flow of Grace that is waiting for you to yield.

Honoring a need does NOT mean going into strategy or trying to get it from someone else. Can you honor a need as real and valid within YOU? When YOU honor it as important, God/Universe will rush in to meet it. Sometimes when I take people through this process, they feel so loved through honoring their need, that the need falls away.

These principals are life-changing and take years to learn, yet the benefit is immediate. How many times have you denied yourself creativity or understanding because you felt you should just “get over it”? For example, in the core of a woman’s genes is the limiting belief, “A good woman does not have needs and must sacrifice hers to be a loving woman.” In the core of a man is the limiting belief, “A strong man can do it on his own. I must ‘man up’, push past, and overcome. Emotions and needs are weak.” These beliefs are based on separation. When we realize we are part of an interdependent co-arising web, we discover that giving and receiving are the same.

Needs are not weak. Would you judge a flower as weak for needing water? When you honor your needs you become stronger…not weaker. Honor your needs and allow yourself to be in energetic alignment with the Universe/God and your dreams. When it comes to personal happiness, the gentler you are with yourself, the more powerful you feel.

There are nine fundamental needs that all humans have: subsistence, protection, affection, understanding, participation, leisure, creation, identity and freedom. There are about 20 more fundamental needs that are also very important (i.e. acceptance, spiritual connection, safety, etc.) but these 20 are represented in the nine.

In sum, the three reasons we deny our fundamental needs are:

1. We judge needs as weak and shame ourselves. (I shouldn’t need this.)
2. We do not take the time to recognize our emotions, or be aware of our needs.
3. We try to make the need happen. (Trying to prove to another our need is real.)

When a person recognizes a need without shame, the need is usually distilled down to its noble truth. Meaning, you may believe you need support but when you honor this need, you realize you really need creativity. Or, when you honor your need to be right, you realize you really crave self-acceptance. Distilling a need down to its noble truth cannot happen without self-honoring. Honoring your needs will not make you a selfish glutton but rather help you to:

a. Feel safe to open your heart.
b. Create personal responsibility.
c. Give you the foundation for speaking boundaries.
d. Empower you to make choices in greater alignment with your true desires.

Nothing is without purpose. Nothing. You are part of an intrinsic pattern that is continually trying to help you grow and become more of your already present brilliant self. Life cannot support the plant that is trying to go back into the Earth! Likewise Life/God doesn’t know about your problems and playing small. Every day an evolutionary impulse is seeking to express as you. Through self-love and honoring your needs, you open your heart to be in greater alignment with the energy that is wanting to help you. There is a force that is continually cheering you on to grow…grow…grow! As you continue to practice self-love and turning your glance inward, you discover something that uniquely only you can do. And you become a star.

Barbra White


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