It’s the season for forgiveness.
Winter is about to set in. The days are shorter, and with family closer, one may start to remember again, why we go out each day and fight our battes. But family around the dinner table may trigger unresolved issues, rekindling frustrations or anger. I write this on Thanksgiving night, after having had dinner with close family. Some of whom are loving, but a few who have never left my thoughts since they declared I don’t count as their family, after a minor incident. And yet, we continue to dine, laugh, and recollect 10 years of being around each other, through good times and bad. Not everyone is as fortunate as I am to have some measure of the rebuilding of bridges burned; but is this true harmony or a cold truce that will unravel at the next critical incident, when our principles are tested?
The external origins of ‘un-forgiveness’ are typically past, but sometimes, remain in the future. From genocides to individual tragedies, our heart cannot bear the injustices we are powerless against, and cannot stop thinking of future scenarios when the injustice may repeat itself. Thus anger sustains within us as un-forgiveness. At the subtle level, the left and right energy channels are both in play.
In image 1, the major channels on the left (moon) and the right (sun), represent our emotions in the past and planning work for the future. The memories of an infraction from the past stimulates the need to overthink reactions we would have against the offending party when we come across them, or worse, happen to confront them. Typically, such plans to use words and deeds never materialize as we sneak back into the comfort of artificial harmony, shielding truth with politeness. And yet, the anger simmers and burns us within.
These two channels have a major crossover between the eyebrows and around the “third eye” area in the brain. Stress on either channel blocks this energy center. But forgiveness is a special block that comes from the simultaneous stress on the left and right, constricting this energy center completely. This center is our gateway to bliss and universal connection in the crown chakra. Our forgiveness, thus, suffocates us spiritually, when we disconnect from all that is divine and nourishing.
Fortunately, there is a way to unlock this blockage without years of mental struggle and rational lines of approach. The heart chakra has a sub-channel that connects to the crown, passing through the third eye. A simple meditation for forgiveness can sometimes help significantly. Try this method, given by Sahaja Yoga founder and Master of Kundalini, ShriMatajiNirmala Devi:
STEP 1: Sit down comfortably on a chair or on the floor
STEP 2: Put your left hand in your lap, and right hand across the forehead
STEP 3: Take your attention to your heart and affirm seven times, “I forgive everyone and everything” without thinking of specific people or events
STEP 4: Let your attention float up from your heart into your crown chakra
STEP 5: Enjoy moments of silence and let them expand into longer quiet moments
1. Do not worry about breaking your silence. Go easy on yourself. Simply bring your attention back in the crown if it drifts off into thoughts or external distractions.
2. Do not spend more than 10 minutes on the meditation above. Repeat steps if needed.
I would love to hear your experience with this meditation. I would like to learn from you if you have used any strategies for forgiveness and found them helpful. Here are two that I’ve learned to use:
A. Communication lines are open: If the lines of contact are open, find a different area or topic. Let your antagonist give advice or share a story from their heart. Create new memories that will supersede the bad events. Children in kindergarten do it all the time. Carry home more happy memories than sad ones.
B. Communication has stopped: For a number of reasons, we may be unable to communicate with the other party, due to death, divorce, etc. In such a case, a substitution through another person or activity is usually a good place to start, but meditation is essential to sustain the state of forgiveness when we are not engaged with the substitute person or activity.
I would love to learn your tried and tested methods to forgive and let go. Start a conversation at firstname.lastname@example.org with me today. Have a wonderful Winter ahead.
By V. Hemant
V. Hemant coordinates meditation meetups in Michigan. Meetings feature ShriMataji’s Sahaja Yoga Meditation, where learning is 100% free and learners pay-it-forward by mentoring others. Email: email@example.com MI Meetup: http://bit.ly/mimeet