Life is a co-creative process, which means that we have the ability to use our individual will, intentions, prayers, and actions to co-create our life with Love/God/the Universe/All That Is. This co-creative process is a juicy and integral part of the dance of life. With that being said, there are also certain aspects of our life experience that are in some ways immune to the influence of our will and intentions. These experiences just need to unravel and play out, and all the doing in the world cannot speed up the outcome.
In my personal experience, I worked through releasing a soulmate relationship that evolved over a 10-year period. Because aspects of this experience were very challenging, and I wanted to move on and be done with it, I did just about everything under the sun to “resolve” what I perceived as the issue — working with healers/therapists/body workers, doing clearing rituals/ceremonies, reading books, setting intentions, doing past life work, making vision boards, taking classes, participating in movement practices, receiving energy healing, etc. I’m pretty sure that I could win an award for one of the most ambitious and persistent attempts at healing and moving on from a soulmate relationship. I thought that if I could just DO enough inner work, I could co-create the life that I wanted.
On my journey of being fervently committed to healing all that arose within this soulmate relationship, I often had the sense that there was a natural unfolding that was happening. It felt like things were unraveling beyond space and time and that I had much less co-creative influence than I thought. Although I resisted this guidance with just about every ounce of my being, I consistently felt like no matter how much I did, that things were just going to evolve at their own pace through the grace of divine order.
While I did certainly receive some benefit from the many ways that I pursued healing and resolution from this relationship, I now understand that I could have made things easier on myself by not working so hard, more fully surrendering to the process, and trusting that it was evolving at the perfect pace. In retrospect, I can now see how each step on this part of my journey unfolded within the dance of the great mystery and according to divine timing, and that my attempts at co-creating the outcome I wanted was not going to speed this process up.
Because we are all co-creating our life experience, it can be helpful to discern when it’s beneficial to use our will and intention to manifest what we desire, and when life is calling us to let go of the doing and allow the flow of divine order to do its thing. Sometimes there is nothing left to do and life just needs to run its course, especially when we are working through core life lessons within karmic and soulmate relationships. These core lessons take as long as they take and all the doing in the world cannot alter or speed up the process.
A word of caution: To the mind, the pace of divine order often seems to resemble that of a snail. If it seems like things are taking too long, this could be a good sign that all is well. The mind tends to resist the principle of divine order because it calls for a surrendering of control and invites us to let go of trying to influence the outcome. Therefore, the more we can accept what is and trust that everything is unfolding at the perfect pace and for our highest good, the more we bring ourselves into the natural flow of life, which is guided by the principle divine order.
I am certainly not suggesting that we should stop taking action to co-create what is most alive in our hearts.
This use of intention and will is such a rich and valuable part of this life experience. As we commit to doing our inner work, we cultivate more self-awareness, which definitely has a huge impact on what shows up in our lives.
What I am suggesting is that it can be helpful to experiment with less doing when that has been our primary approach to co-creating what we desire, especially around core issues and life lessons. In these areas, there is often so much going on, both seen and unseen, that it just takes time to unravel. These situations often call for patience, surrender, and trust that everything is unfolding through the grace of divine order for your highest good.
With love & gratitude ~ Erin Stohl