What Do You Really Want?


Jack Canfield, author of Chicken Soup for the Soul, describes an exercise he has people do. They get a partner and ask each other over and over, “What do you really want?” At first, many say things such as a new car or house near the ocean, or on a lake, but as they keep going they describe more important things like having a happy family, feeling like they are making a difference, feeling they matter, etc.

How would you answer that question? If you knew the answer, would you know how to go about getting it? You deserve to have the things you want and like. The question is, if you know what you want and do not have it, what is stopping you from achieving your goal?

Dr. Canfield, a psychologist who graduated from Harvard, goes on to say, “I believe self-esteem is the bottom line of every problem everyone ever has.” Your self-image determines what you get in life. As an example, if you feel you only deserve to make $20,000 a year, and an opportunity comes along that could bring you a great deal more money, you will not take advantage of it. Either you will find a reason not to pursue the opportunity, or you will sabotage it. Your self-image will not allow you to succeed in this endeavor because it goes against what you believe you deserve.

It is not just with money that your self-image dictates what you will get out of life. It will also affect the type of relationship you have, how satisfied you are with your job or career, and it can influence the type of friends you have. For example, are your friends supportive of your desire for success or do they criticize and ridicule you for thinking you can achieve more? Does your spouse or partner support you, or does he or she laugh at your attempts to better yourself? Who you associate with reflects your self-esteem.

Do you believe you are entitled to happiness and success or do you believe these are for other people? Do you consider yourself a worthwhile individual, or do you feel you are somehow lacking?

Do you ever wonder why some people are so successful while others seem to just get by? It is not merely fate or bad luck that you are not living the life you truly desire to live. Your beliefs about yourself affect the quality of your life. They also have a lot to do with early messages you received when you were growing up. Perhaps you had abusive parents or care-givers who told you that you were somehow lacking. Or, perhaps they were very fearful and this got passed down to you.

For example, if your mother was afraid to cross a bridge you may have acquired that same fear. Or maybe you were told you had a disability in a school subject and you accepted that label for the rest of your life, not knowing that you had the ability to overcome that problem. So much of our beliefs come from our early childhood experiences. In fact, you are probably not even aware of many of them, because they are now buried in your subconscious mind.

This creates quite a dilemma. How can you challenge these early beliefs if you are not even aware of them? Many people have spent years in therapy trying to understand why their life isn’t working, what is causing their problems, and how they can overcome them. There is, however, a much more efficient way to get to the root of the problem. It is with the use of hypnosis. Hypnosis can help you uncover the cause of your problem in just a few sessions. Not only is it safe and effective, but it can save you a lot of time and expense.

If you would like to find out more about hypnosis, please call Phil Rosenbaum at the Self-Esteem Academy. Call: 248-688-6469. You deserve to be happy and healthy.


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