Many people feel that they have been wronged by someone in their past. Often this is a parent, or siblings, or a life partner. It may be true that you were treated in a hurtful way. You may think the person who wronged you doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. Unfortunately, holding on to this position is hurting you a great deal more than the other person. You may have been holding on to this anger or resentment for years without realizing the toll it is taking. The fact is, the person or persons who have wronged you may not even be aware of how you feel. They are probably going about their life without any thought about what they did to you. They are not the ones suffering.
While you may want to get back at the person you feel has harmed you, you are actually causing many more problems for yourself. Many people do not want to let the person who has hurt them “off the hook,” believing that will allow the person to get away with it. But holding on to the anger may be causing you serious problems, both physical and psychological, greatly affecting the quality of your life. In this state you are unable to make changes or improve your life; you cannot move forward.
Dr. Wayne Dyer used to say when he was a psychologist doing therapy, and his clients blamed their parent or parents for the problems in their life, “Send your parents to me for therapy, I will cure them, and then you will be all right.” Obviously, curing your parent or parents is not going to do anything to make your life better. You need to accept that you are responsible for what is occurring in your life. If you are waiting for someone else to change in order to be happy, you will never be happy. You are the one who needs to make the changes.
There is an interesting analogy about not forgiving. It states, “Not forgiving others is like drinking the poison and hoping the other person will die.” The point is that you are drinking the poison and you are the one who is suffering as a result of this. Why punish yourself in the present because someone hurt you in the past? This just increases your pain. It is vital to let go of what happened in the past and learn to forgive others, if you wish to heal. Forgiveness is not for the other person, it is really for you. By forgiving others you free yourself.
You may be familiar with the “Course in Miracles.” It states that “All dis-ease comes from a state of unforgiveness.” So if you are experiencing dis-ease, you might want to contemplate who it is you might want to forgive. Forgiveness has nothing to do with condoning the behavior. Rather, you are just letting it go and are getting on with your life. It might help you to realize that the person you need to forgive may also have been in a lot of pain. Forgiveness is a way of loving yourself.
Furthermore, there may be devastating consequences by not forgiving. Dolores Canon, a hypnotist who often communicated with beings on the super conscious level, stated that many people have cancer because they would not forgive. That is how powerful and destructive not forgiving is. Many illnesses are a result of not forgiving. We cannot change what happened in the past. We can, however, change our thoughts about the past.
If you are finding it very difficult to forgive, hypnosis can be enormously helpful. Hypnosis deals with the subconscious part of the mind, and by accessing the subconscious one can more easily learn to forgive, and let past hurts go.
If you would like to find out more about hypnosis, or see if it can be of benefit to you, please call Phil Rosenbaum at 248-688-6469. You can make the decision to help yourself.