If you were lying on your death bed, now or 50 years from now, and a friend came up to you and asked you if your life was a complete success, how would you answer that question? If the answer was that it wasn’t as successful as you would have liked it to have been, what do you wish would have been different?
This question was posed by Dr. Gay Hendricks in his book Five Wishes. He states that what you need to do is determine what you wish had been different and then set out to accomplish the goals that would make your life a success. The author states that he did this very thing and it transformed his life.
One important point he makes is that it is very important to finish what he calls, incompletions. These would be things you started or meant to do but never got around to completing. The author points out that a vital element in accomplishing these goals is the need to love yourself. This was a radical idea for a Ph.D. psychologist, who was both a professor and a therapist.
Do you love yourself? Some psychologists maintain that over 90% of people were raised in dysfunctional families. If this is true, there is a good chance that you fall into this category. What this means is that many of the unhealthy behaviors and beliefs that were held by your parent(s) or caregiver(s) were very likely passed down to you. This being the case, it is probable that you have some, if not many, limiting beliefs, such as not being smart enough or good enough or adequate enough in some areas. Having these kinds of beliefs would make it extremely difficult to love and feel good about yourself.
If your answer is that your life was not a complete success, what would you need to do to make it a success? Furthermore, would you be able to make the changes that would be required, or would there be too many obstacles in the way? If you, like most people, have a great many negative deep-seated beliefs, accomplishing your goals would be very difficult. To complicate matters even more, many of these deep-seated irrational beliefs are buried in the subconscious part of your mind. What this means is that you are not even aware of them. How can you change a negative belief if you are not even aware of having it?
Another problem is that many people have what is called, automatic thoughts. For example, say you wanted to go out with someone you found attractive or appealing. Your automatic thoughts might tell you that this person won’t want to go out with you, or that he or she is probably too busy, or that it will be awkward if he or she says ‘no’. These thoughts can stop you from doing the things you want to do. What is required is to become aware of these automatic and irrational thoughts, challenge them, and then replace them with much more rational responses.
This is where counseling or hypnosis can be of tremendous benefit. A trained therapist or hypnotherapist can help you see where these unhealthy beliefs are coming from. With this understanding, you will then be in a position to eliminate them and replace them with much healthier beliefs.
It is true that willpower is a great thing, but if your subconscious beliefs are opposing you, your willpower will not be able to achieve the changes you wish to make. The subconscious will find a way to sabotage your willpower. That is why it is so important to deal with and change the subconscious beliefs so that they are in alignment with your conscious beliefs and desires.
If you would like to make some changes in your life but are finding it very difficult to do so, please contact Phil Rosenbaum at 248-688-6469. A combination of counseling and hypnosis can help you achieve your most important goals.