by Dr. Marjorie Farnsworth
*Do you have a belief that having power goes hand in hand with the desire to bully and harm others?
*Do you believe that if you have and show personal power, it will only provoke more powerful people to harm you, even to become violent?
*Do you believe that it is safer to just be harmless and invisible, as a means to stay safe?
What are the costs of projecting a sense of being powerless?
Projecting a sense of powerlessness may actually provoke the bullies of the world to attack. Bullies are usually craven cowards deep inside, and so they want to attack those least likely to fight back. Looking powerless does not keep you safe.
Maintaining a sense of powerlessness is damaging to your self-esteem and confidence. These emotions can lead to depression and poor health.
What is the nature of true power?
In our society, power is often equated with the willingness to be forceful, aggressive, violent, or impulsive. Think of all the war movies you may have seen or the standards by which “manliness” is often measured. Hurting, controlling and killing people are equated with power, along with destroying property and causing confusion and chaos. This is how a bully or a dictator maintains control: using the constant threat of violence to keep people feeling helpless, frightened and powerless. Dictators also work to make people believe that their own neighbor is the “enemy” — the cause of the problems and injustices of society.
The power of dictators and bullies is not power that lasts, however, and it is not good leadership. The people rebel eventually, and chaos ensues. Anger, resentment and discontent rise to a boiling point. This type of power is overthrown in time, often a very short time.
Real power comes from knowing yourself well and accepting yourself fully. Real power involves consistently following a set of principles, for example, those in the ancient I Ching of the Chinese.
Real power comes from discovering, nourishing and maintaining a still point deep inside, a point of peacefulness, equanimity and acceptance.
Real power comes from independent thinking, and from looking inside for answers, not outside to public opinion, trends, or mass media.
Real power means that you cannot be shaken by the world. Your essence and your behavior reflect your integrity, and are not influenced by external circumstances.
Real power means knowing that love and fear are choices, and that love is the way of power. Fear is the basis of hate.
Real power means striving to be the best that you can be every second of every day and be influencing the world around you to be the best it can be for all.
How can a person become powerful?
If you want to be powerful, you must learn to take care of yourself:
– Look inside
– Face your fears
– Express your truth
– Work to live a healthy and sober life
– Examine and unravel beliefs and habits which do not serve you
– Develop and maintain strong personal boundaries
– Believe in yourself
– Surround yourself only with people who sincerely love you, believe in you and encourage you
– Take responsibility for everything you do.
– Live by a set of principles
– Be gentle with yourself
– Get comfortable saying No
– Spend time in Nature
– Work out regularly
– Eat a healthy diet
– Develop a spiritual practice
– Find work to do which supports your life and gives you joy and satisfaction
Therapies and Practices Which May Help You Find and Maintain Personal Power:
– Shamanic healing
– Reading the I Ching
– Martial arts
People who are always negative, angry, hateful, needy, controlling, manipulative, pushy, intimidating or critical are weeds in your life which you must find the courage to eliminate. Otherwise, they will suck the life force out of you.
Live in peace, whatever that takes. Remember that Freedom is expensive.
Dr. Marjorie Farnsworth, MBA, MHt, PhD
Clinical Hypnotherapist and Shamanic Practitioner