Heard enough? How many times have you heard similar variations of the catchphrases above? Do these statements inspire you to change your life? Or, do they trigger feelings of not being enough, and self-attacking thoughts such as, “Yup… if I just gave more, exercised more, meditated more, watched less TV, etc… my life would be better.” Albeit, making these life changes would create a better life. But what if more action, giving, doing is not the full answer?
There is nothing wrong with you. What if more willpower is not what you are lacking? What if the reason you are not feeling your highest joy is that you don’t have the proper support or tools?
It is not your fault that you are not living your highest joy. It takes tools of self-acceptance, the support of other humans, radical courage, deep self-awareness, body connection and developed vision to follow one’s heart. Real change is within and is incremental. It cannot be done in a day, or in one big sweeping action. Manifesting your highest joy and heart’s dreams requires moment-to-moment compassionate self-listening. However, this inner listening is easier said than done.
If there are unresolved emotions or traumas, then a person cannot hear their inner guidance. Unresolved emotions or traumas can show up as limiting beliefs about what we ‘should’ be doing, roles we must play, and mind chatter which blocks our inner wisdom. We have been taught to not trust our own heart.
The inability to follow your highest joy in life is NOT because you lack anything inside… it is because you need the help of a person and community to keep you accountable, the development of new skills, and a mentor to temporarily hold your hand.
Ever hear of the rat study? It’s been repeated by many behavioral scientists with the same results. They put a rat alone in a cage, with drug-filled water. The rat becomes addicted to the drug and dies. But, if the addicted rat is moved to a space with a community of rats, (with an option of still drinking the drug-filled water), it will no longer drink the drug-filled water, but instead will thrive. Why? Behavior psychologists and scientists alike have found addictions stem from a lack of support and human connection.
It is NOT weak to ask for help and get the resources you need! A CEO knows she/he cannot run the entire business alone. Why do we think we have to solve our life’s issues alone? Isolation guarantees failure. Yes, you are the only one who can make the choice to heal and grow. But, the more you allow yourself to go towards what you need, is practicing wisdom. Yet how can you know what you need, or allow your needs to be met if you are still judging yourself as weak for needing help?
In general, as a culture, we are not taught the tools to live our highest joy–self-acceptance, co-creative choice, cultivated conviction, and embodiment. Our parents didn’t have the skills to pass on, because it wasn’t taught to them. Many of us are very accomplished at ‘doing’… but not very skillful at following our highest joy.
We take a drug, change jobs, leave a relationship, but then we feel the same or worse, find we are with the “same person” with a different name, or still hate our job. Then, we desperately go to a one-day workshop or sermon that promises to change our life for good. And if it doesn’t, we begin to think we have failed, or worse yet, that we are fundamentally broken. We begin to lose hope.
So where do you start? Get into a weekly mastermind, healing or meditation group, hire a holistic therapist, set up a lunch date with a friend, ask for help, and start daily meditation. These are powerful baby steps you can do right now to help change your life. If you would like to seriously commit on a level that will radically change you, I invite you to join my group in November. We meet at my Northville healing center every Wednesday from 5:30-10PM (except holidays) for one year.
In this program, you will get mentorship, personal accountability, and compassionate support. You will also receive healing and certifications in energy healing, trauma healing homeopathy, auricular acupuncture, and Self Acceptance Process. This powerful year will also include training in shadow healing, non-duality, heart-centered qi gong, and Earth-based spirituality.
Offering this program for 12 years now, I am so grateful for how many lives it has changed for the better. Here is what a few participants have said: “It’s a spiritual boot camp,” “I have the core foundations for life I always needed,” and “I am so grateful for the support and transformation I have received.”
Just as a cut on your arm knows how to heal without you telling it what to do, there is an order, harmony, or intelligence working in your life. If you are willing to grow and have the proper tools and support, great miracles and healing are possible. You are so very loved.