There is a saying that, “Good fences make good neighbors” and I want to agree with that in the most positive way. As people living in an increasingly crowded and chaotic world, better boundaries on every level have become essential for living a good life.
There are boundaries on yards, boundaries in relationships, and spiritual boundaries, and without them, we experience both chaos and loss of energy. The more crowded and busy our world has become the more obvious it is that we need to find a way to protect our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual energies just to get through our lives successfully. Though there are social and cultural habits and expectations which can discourage us from setting boundaries, still we need them to be able to relax and grow strong in our lives and our goals. We may have learned as children that the way to feel safe in our families is to take care of others, so they will hopefully love and take care of us in turn. But over time we may come to realize that this often means we give ourselves away for very little return. This is both a relationship and a spiritual issue, and mastering this challenge allows us to blossom and thrive in the ways we are designed to do.
Like the atmosphere around the earth, each of us has an atmosphere or aura around our body which is our first protective field. It is about an arm’s length in every direction, including below our feet. Like the earth’s atmosphere, ours should hold the energies which are conducive to our well-being. When we give our power and energy away to those who aren’t generating their own energy, our own energy field is drained, muddied and begins to lose its power and protective abilities. Another way our aura loses energy is if we are living more in spirit than in the physical world – we call this, ungrounded. The aura is built by the union of our body and our spiritual self, so just being spiritual doesn’t do it. We need to bring our spirit into our body and then the aura is generated and becomes increasingly strong. So a commitment to living fully and wholly within our body and our spirit is the first way we can build good strong boundaries.
Doing for others what they can do for themselves weakens both of us. Setting a boundary to focus on our own life by not carrying others, allows us to regenerate our aura, and may help others to step up to the plate for themselves. That’s a choice they have to make or not as they choose. Out of love for them and for ourselves, we can explain that it disempowers both of us if we carry the burdens they are capable of for themselves. We can believe in them and that they can do it for themselves if they will. Badgering others to do their part is just another way of taking responsibility for them and losing power. After setting clear boundaries and expectations, when another still won’t do their part, we may choose to do it for ourselves as a free and conscious choice, without blame. Or, we can choose not to.
That brings us to the next layer of relationship muscle, which is built by making choices about who we want to be in a relationship with. Accepting another’s right to live as they choose, we also have that right. Choosing to be where some people don’t do their share is an option. Making that choice freely and doing what needs to be done with grace and self-love, you may learn to hold your power and generate the life you desire. Choosing to be true to ourselves means we don’t try to change those around us to be what we want either. Of course, with young children and the elderly, we have responsibilities to care for them when they can’t.
In my award-winning blog, “The Weekly Word for Healing and Ascension”, I created a series of 3 video-blogs. They teach the foundational tools for grounding into your true self, accessing clean energy for life, setting boundaries and strengthening your aura. Viewing these is just a start but highly recommended. You can find them at www.spiritualhealers.com/blog Type in the search box: Eve’s 3 Most Important Things.
Working with those tools, you will begin to be clearer about ways you give your power away and lose energy. From there you may build your aura and strength in all areas of your life, make self-loving choices, and set appropriate boundaries out of love for yourself and others.