by Jen Romanowski
September is National Recovery Month, a time when communities across the country raise awareness about addiction, celebrate those in recovery, and extend compassion to the families walking alongside them. If you’ve found yourself wondering whether someone you love is struggling with addiction or if you’re supporting a loved one already in recovery, know this: you are not alone. Help exists, hope is real, and healing is possible.
I write these words not from a distance, but from lived experience. I grew up in an alcoholic household, shared my life with a partner battling addiction, and watched one of my closest friends nearly lose their way. I know the mix of fear, anger, confusion, and grief that arises when someone you love is hurting. I also know the temptation to give so much of yourself that you forget your own needs. That is why this month matters, because your healing and strength are as important as theirs.
Recognizing the Signs
Addiction and relapse often show themselves in subtle ways before they become impossible to ignore. If you are concerned about a loved one, some common signs include:
- Changes in mood or behavior that seem out of character.
- Pulling away from relationships or isolating more than usual.
- Neglecting responsibilities at home, work, or school.
- Unexplained financial struggles or secrecy around money.
- Decline in physical health, sleep, or appearance.
These signs do not always mean addiction is present, but they are red flags worth paying attention to. Trust your intuition if something feels off.
You Can’t Do It Alone
One of the hardest truths for families and friends to accept is that they cannot fix addiction for someone else. Recovery is a personal choice and a courageous path each individual must walk for themselves. Yet this doesn’t mean you are powerless. Programs like Al-Anon exist precisely to help family members find their own strength and support. Sitting with others who have walked the same road can bring clarity, perspective, and peace.
Holding Healthy Boundaries
When someone you love is struggling, it’s natural to want to rescue them. But constantly covering up mistakes, making excuses, or sacrificing your own well-being can actually cause more harm. Setting healthy boundaries is one of the most loving things you can do, both for yourself and for them. A boundary might sound like, “I love you deeply, and I will support you in recovery, but I cannot support your drinking or drug use.”
Boundaries protect your energy. They allow you to remain present without being consumed. And they model what healthy love looks like, something a struggling loved one may need more than words.
Compassion in Action
Support does not always mean doing more. Sometimes, it means pausing, praying, and trusting. If you feel helpless, try a spiritual practice: light a candle, whisper a prayer for your loved one’s courage, or journal your hopes for their healing. These practices remind you that you are not alone, and that the Universe, Creator, or Higher Power is walking alongside both of you.
Compassion also means remembering your worth. You do not need to disappear inside someone else’s struggle—your light matters. Your life matters. The more you tend to your own spirit, the more strength you’ll have to stand steady in love.
Resources and Where to Turn
If you’re unsure where to begin, here are some places that offer guidance and support:
- Al-Anon Family Groups: Support for families and friends of those with alcohol use disorder.
- Nar-Anon Family Groups: Support for loved ones of those struggling with drugs.
- SAMHSA Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP — a free, confidential line for treatment and recovery resources.
- Local recovery circles or community groups: Many communities hold open meetings where loved ones are welcome.
Seeking support for yourself is not selfish; it is necessary.
Closing: Hope and Healing
Recovery is rarely a straight line. There may be setbacks, frustrations, and moments of doubt. But there can also be miracles. I have witnessed people rise from the darkest places into lives of joy, purpose, and freedom. I have seen families mend, hearts soften, and spirits shine again.
If you are walking alongside someone you love in this journey, remember that your role is not to carry them, but to walk beside them in love, courage, and hope. National Recovery Month is a reminder that healing is possible, not just for those in recovery but for every soul connected to them.
Jen Romanowski, a.k.a. Sunshine Witchski, The Pink-haired Sober Witch, has been practicing witchcraft and other esoteric practices for over 25 years. She is a spiritual advisor, recovery mentor, and Creatrix of Illuminate: The Unschool of Sober Witchcraft. Visit www.illuminateunschool.com or text 313-595-4148 for guidance in your recovery. Or check out Amazon for her newly published book: Sober Witch Life: A Magickal Guide to Recovery.
