By Phil Rosenbaum
Letting go could mean different things to different people. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, letting go means “to stop holding something” or “to stop thinking about or being angry about the past or something that happened in the past.” Letting go can also mean releasing someone or something that is no longer positively serving you. A further meaning is that letting go is a process that involves accepting what is and releasing or reducing attachments to expectations, desires, and outcomes. In addition, it means making a conscious effort to release something hurtful that happened to you by no longer holding onto negative thought patterns, anger, resentment, or pain.
Thus, letting is not the same for everyone. While letting go often refers to releasing other people, it could also include letting go of negative beliefs or thought patterns. Letting go has many benefits: freedom from resentment and pain, freedom from past and future victimization, releasing an unhealthy image of yourself, and so on. However, it is not that easy to do. Some people don’t want to let go or are not yet ready to do so. For example, a person who was abused stated that she didn’t really want to let go. She equated letting go with forgiving the abuser. There is always a reason that people do not let go.
The late Dolores Cannon, author, and hypnotherapist, talked about a client who had problems with cancer. He would get cancer in a certain part of his body, have it treated, and then have cancer re-emerge somewhere else in his body. This pattern continued, and he was not able to become free of the cancer. Dolores believed there was a connection between the mind or one’s thoughts and illness. She asked this person if there was anyone he was angry with. He replied, “Yes, my ex-wife. She took the kids and would not let me see them.” Dolores told him he needed to forgive her and move on with his life. He was unwilling to do this and stated that if he forgave her, “she would win.” Dolores then responded that if he dies from the cancer, she wins anyway. Dolores believed that his anger and lack of forgiveness were causing the cancer. This type of thinking is not that uncommon, but unfortunately, it can cause severe problems.
As mentioned, letting go can also refer to old beliefs and unhealthy thinking patterns. For example, suppose you received early messages from parents, teachers, or others that you were not good enough, that you’re not college material, or that you would never amount to anything. In that case, you may still be letting these old beliefs affect your life. Even though these beliefs or early messages are not true, they may be lodged in the subconscious part of your mind and affect you without you even realizing it. Because the subconscious believes these messages, it is extremely difficult for the conscious mind to contradict these beliefs. For example, you could be extremely intelligent, but if you believe this is not the case, you avoid situations that would challenge these beliefs. You may be locked into a very unrewarding job, have a job that pays much less than you can earn, or stay in a dysfunctional relationship. These unhealthy beliefs greatly affect your self-esteem and will result in a much less satisfying life than one you are capable of. There are many other negative consequences of not letting go.
Holding on to resentment does not benefit you in any way. Furthermore, if you can do nothing about a situation, it serves no purpose to continually dwell on it. One of the 12-step programs’ main tenets is the “Serenity Prayer,” which reads, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Letting go involves a choice, and it is up to you to make the decision to release the anger, the resentment, or the unhealthy beliefs.
If you are having difficulty letting go, hypnotherapy can be very helpful. It is safe, and it works. If you want more information about hypnotherapy or to experience a session, please call Phillip Rosenbaum at 248-688-6469. What better time to let go of what you do not need?
