Don’t wait until things are ‘fixed’ to love deeply, dream big, and live your grandest desire. You are here to reflect and reveal the cosmos in only the way you can. Loving through your tattered parts is an art form, and it can be done now! Is your human existence infused with the energy of your soul or do you keep life separate from spirit? When you remember that the Divine is continually seeking to be expressed in your every breath, everything you do and say becomes infused with the power of creation. Non-duality is knowing you are an imperfect learning human AND a magnificent gifted eternal being. When you accept your humanity, you come to know your already present divinity.
Your beloved awaits you. True confidence or God Confidence is being more identified in non-duality. When you are able to compassionately witness the hate or fear within you, a love greater than what your mind can conceptualize arises into your awareness. In Eastern Body, Western Mind, Anodea Judith says that in her 30 years of therapy with clients, she never saw a correlation between accomplishments and good looks. The ones who put less pressure on themselves tended to be happier. God Confidence is realized through self-acceptance. It is knowing that who you truly are is an eternal presence and divine light disguised in a human spacesuit. God Confidence is independent of what you look like or what you do.
When you know something to be true or real within you, people feel this truth and reflect this vibration back to you. All arguments are miscommunications of needs. Many people repress their needs. They don’t even know what their needs are because of the shame slathered on top. “I shouldn’t need this”, or “I am stronger than this.” Being gentle with yourself leads to God Confidence and inner power, not weakness.
Your beloved is waiting for you. Know the importance of having your heart well fed and watered. Like a flower, your heart has survival needs, no matter your financial or societal position. ‘Neediness’ only happens when you are judging your need, trying to make things happen because of your need, or forcing your need on another.
Communicating need from a space of love leads to intimacy, vulnerability, conscious communication, and deeper connections. Healthy communication begins when YOU recognize your needs. It does not begin with you asking ‘how’ or ‘when’ your needs will be met, or with your shaming yourself for wanting something.
To take full responsibility for your happiness, you must learn how to receive. YOU need to recognize your needs as important. YOU need to recognize your dreams as valid and real; otherwise you will put yourself in front of people who challenge your needs and dreams. What you repress returns back to you, amplified in the form of unhealthy relationships. If you don’t know your needs are important, you will unknowingly communicate them in an angry and fearful way, and then wonder why the other person is reacting.
Talk to your little child within. When you are hurting, instead of asking “What is wrong with me?” or “Why is this hurt here?” ask, “What do I need right now?” This is a very powerful practice. Just by asking the question, pain falls away. Then, WHATEVER you hear, honor it. WITHOUT going into ‘HOW hell’ or ‘WHEN hell’. When you see what you want as real, you no longer put yourself in fires to prove to yourself your needs are important.
Here is a powerful affirmation I give to clients, “I release the need to fight for what I need.” Ten years ago, between 2001 and 2004, I had a natural health and acupuncture practice. Some clients didn’t listen when I talked about self-acceptance, while others who did listen and shift, had life changes! I thought maybe I should ‘word it this way’ or ‘be more loving’ or ‘try harder’. Then one day, I realized I was trying to convince myself that MY desire to be a spiritual mentor and therapist was real! When I made that shift, my whole clientele changed. I released the need to prove to myself my need was real. I was then able to let the good (that was already there) in.
It is not about making it happen. It is about allowing your good in. Everything is already there in the mind of Creation. Self-awareness is imperative to opening the inner doorway to your beloved, and your dreams.
The big ‘secret’ is, we all have feelings of not being worthy. This is normal. Don’t shame attack yourself. If you truly loved yourself, would you have put yourself in that relationship, stayed where you are, or compromised your needs? The most important one to forgive is yourself…for not loving yourself. Many have confused suffering with spiritual progress. This affirmation/prayer has helped me tremendously, “I forgive myself for not loving myself.” Only in the last few years can I say I really truly like myself.
We can save the world but if we are not gentle with ourselves we lose our souls.
Your beloved awaits. You will only receive the love you have already practiced within. Your beloved could be in front of you right now, but if you haven’t practiced listening to the needs and desires of your heart, you will be unable to see them. You will only receive the love you have already allowed yourself to receive. If you haven’t practiced self-love, love given to you will be seen as a ‘foreign invader’ and not to be trusted.
Loving yourself and honoring your needs allows your divinity greater expression. Learning this is a process. It is not about transcending or praying your needs away.
ALL of you is lovable. When you love the dark spots, you discover a light within greater than you can imagine.
In service, Barbra
