We ended last month with looking at how interactions with your family can bring out negative inner feelings, experiencing yourself as a youngster again, and/or possibly reflecting to you an aspect of yourself that you can work on. Both can be delved into and investigated by allowing yourself to identify your feelings and experiencing them. We also looked briefly at “go to” statements that you can practice and use when you are in situations you have previously found stressful.
As mentioned before, every encounter is a holy one, allowing you to grow towards self-actualization and fulfill your potential in this life. As you see each encounter as holy, seeing the experience as being sent into your awareness of the world by Divine Source, you can choose to learn and grow in love and acceptance. What would you do with something, a gift, sent to you by Divine Source? Would you throw it away, or would you choose to extract all the wisdom you can from this gift?
Your family and your placement in your family of origin is pre-designed by you and your Creator to allow for your maximum growth. You can start there. Ask questions like: How does dad’s alcoholism affect me and my choice of lifestyle? What does mom’s victim role teach me? How does sister’s antagonistic relationship keep me defensive and not allow me to let others in?
Your family scripts and roles were chosen for you to learn from. They become the blueprints to your being in the world, and holiday time is typically when they combust. Are you feeling trapped, apprehensive and defensive with even the thought of being with your family? When these feelings come up, Divine Source is cut off by you… love is defended against, and trust, even of the Divine, is not allowed in.
When with your family, take time out to journal insights and realizations, emotions and patterns of thought so that you can learn from them in the safety of your own space. You can go for a walk, take a breath of fresh air, go to the privacy of the bathroom if desired, to create the space to go within. Writing down in a journal or a cell phone allows you to remember what your ego wants you to forget or use to rationalize behavior, thoughts and feelings that are not of love and therefore not of your true self.
You may be in the habit of exploding, hiding, going silent, or whatever defense you learned as a child to make being with a difficult family easier. This year, become aware of these habits that hinder your growth and control you from behind the conscious awareness. These habits actually can increase separation from experiencing your true self.
After taking this time out, noting what thoughts and feelings, things that keep you locked in old beliefs and scripts about yourself and others, take a few minutes to center yourself with your breathing or visualizing — whatever you find works for you to allow yourself to re-connect with your Source. Feel the love within and feel it expanding, protecting you. If you have difficulty, just visualizing someone you love, feeling the love flowing to this visualized image allows that connection to ignite.
You can then choose to re-enter the family energy while feeling love for yourself , the love surrounding you and protecting you. If you desire, you can even interact with family members while feeling the love, and see how differently they respond to you. Law of attraction: What you really feel and think about is what you draw to you. See what happens–while feeling love, your vibration changes and will attract others of harmonizing vibrations. You could also feel discord with your family’s non-loving focus–this too you can learn and grow from.
This holiday you have the golden opportunity to experience each family encounter as a holy one. You have the power, given to each divine being (including you), to change your thoughts and change your life. Allowing yourself to realize that within every human, including your family members, is their true self — a divine, loving being — having a human experience. Enjoy having a holy holiday season this year!
Love and Light,