What are You Waiting For?
By Susan deCaussin
It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of holding back on happiness until we reach specific goals in life, such as, “I’ll be happy when I have that promotion”. Or, “I’ll feel secure when I have more money in my bank account”. While having goals is a good thing, they shouldn’t be thought of as destinations or finish lines, but merely a direction instead. A person heading north can experience all kinds of cool things, without necessarily reaching the North Pole.
Life should be about learning to enjoy the journey. We hear this a lot, but exactly how can we apply this to our day-to-day choices and mindset in a way that will help us out? How can we avoid the pitfall of denying ourselves happiness, feelings of safety, a sense of accomplishment, etc., until we meet certain criteria?
If you find yourself thinking that your life isn’t complete because of something that’s missing, you will inevitably fall into the trap that I’m talking about. Many misconceptions of this manner begin with the programming that has been placed upon us by our upbringing, cultural beliefs, and society. Let’s take relationships as an example. I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve met who feel like a failure because they are approaching a certain age and have no partner or children to show for it. They place an incredible amount of pressure on themselves to rapidly enter a relationship so that they can try to fit into that mold that society, family, and friends have put in place. They can be so wrapped up in the act of locating that perfect person that they miss out on opportunities to create healthy friendships and experiences with people they interact with every day. And, oftentimes folks will jump into unhealthy relationships in order to keep up with those self-imposed deadlines.
This is truly about being able to embrace joy along the journey. Let go of the thoughts regarding the way that things are supposed to be, and make each day your destination. Endeavor to make every moment another opportunity to celebrate life. Say hello to a stranger and strike up an interesting conversation. Try doing something you’ve never done before. Stop and appreciate all that you have, instead of holding back on being happy until that next best thing enters the picture. The fact of the matter is that if you don’t take the time to cultivate the practice of being grateful for what you have, you will never be happy. You’ll continuously find yourself holding out for the next fix like a drug addict. You must train yourself to appreciate what you have, live fully in the moment, and release beliefs that don’t serve you. When you delay joy until specific goals are met, it’s like chasing a carrot on a stick. Happiness will consistently be just out of your reach.
Everything really does happen in Divine Order. You can either accept that or resist it. But, resistance will leave you feeling out of control and like you’re being punished by Life. You are not being punished and there’s no such thing as a perfect life. Perfection simply does not exist. There is goodness in every day. And, if you train yourself to look for it, you won’t hold back on happiness until you reach those finish lines and goals.
Stop waiting! Avoid the trap of living with finish lines. Begin each day as if you’re already at the destination. Then, celebrate what’s in front of you, in every single moment. The experiences of your life will ultimately become the enemy if you believe at any point that you can control the order of things. There is no pattern to life. Let go and move with the flow.
If you find it difficult to move beyond those self-imposed barriers and beliefs, hypnotherapy works great! Call me if you’d like a free consultation.
Susan deCaussin CHt
