“Masculinity and femininity are a state of equilibrium forces; it’s a state of universal distribution of equals.” G. EscoDavis

The natural balance of this planet is masculinity and femininity; the yin and yang, alpha and omega, night and day, cold and hot, wet and dry, harmony and discord — opposites complementing the other. Can you have balance when one is absent?

Scientific research has proven that in the human experience, the male brain is larger than the female brain. At conception, the male and female brains are different. The small but significant difference is the Y chromosome that plays out early in the brain. Dr. Louann Brizendine’s studies have shown that the Vasopressin is the hormone of gallantry and monogamy, aggressively protecting and defending turf, mate, and children. Along with testosterone, it runs the male brain circuits and enhances masculinity.

There was a man, who when he walked into a room, was someone that some would call a “man’s man”. Of average height, broad shoulders, manly hands, and a deep masculine voice, his laugh was like a lion’s roar. He worked in construction and would lift 70 lbs. without a blink. This man was my life lesson of masculinity.

I believe that we are the sum-total of our life experience. My experience with my dad is an example of authentic masculinity.

Dad worked in construction and mom ran her own business. My dad would arrive home from work before mom. He would start dinner or begin to do laundry. He would read bedtime stories, take me shopping, cut the lawn, fix the leaky roof, protect his family with the might of a gentle lion and open the car door for my mom and me.

When we had family gatherings at a park, they would play baseball. When dad came up to bat, the outfielders would spread out further. Dad was sure to hit a home run. And, in touch football, they would always have two guys to tackle him.

One day my parents received a letter from my school. It noted that they were going to transfer me to a special program. My dad went to speak to the principal and teachers. They were putting me in the program due to my speech impediment; therefore I could not express my thoughts clearly.

My dad had the same speech impediment; he informed them that because I could not verbalize as clearly as others, it does not imply that I can’t think clearly. My grades and consistently being on the honor roll should be the deciding factor.

Dad is my example that men, even very masculine men, can reveal his softer side -– his femininity (although he would not have called it femininity). He believed that women were not appreciated enough and that women have had to carry more responsibility than men. He would often say that women had the real power.

What I learned from my dad, is that masculinity is not defined by how tough you are, but by how you show appreciation of others.


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