By Susan deCaussin
The childhood rhyme “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” was meant to be an empowering mantra for bullied children. It was intended to reveal the power of choosing to ignore and turn away from the opinions of others instead of internalizing those negative messages. It’s about taking responsibility for one’s feelings by choosing a more empowering response. But hurtful words don’t only come from bullies on a playground, and they’re not always spoken out loud.
Whether your words are audible or quietly held in the privacy of your mind, they become your truth. All words and thoughts are energetic in nature and carry a frequency and vibration. With that understanding, the negative ones may just as well be actual sticks and stones when you consider the damage they are capable of causing. Perhaps, as an adult, you’ve learned to move away from people who disrespect you and speak hurtful words. However, other, more impactful sources are most often overlooked.
I believe that the most destructive words come from critical and condemning self-talk—that small voice in your head that undermines your confidence tells you that you’re not good enough, and makes you question your every decision. Outside pressures from family members, the workplace, friends, and the like can bring about feelings of inadequacy, causing us to overanalyze every aspect of our lives. This further fuels the negative self-talk.
That inner dialogue can often be directly related to childhood events. Many people find themselves repeating the exact hurtful phrases told to them by parents, siblings, friends, teachers, coaches, and other authority figures throughout their lives. Those words can play over and over again like a broken record, becoming deeply ingrained into your belief system.
Sometimes, this can be quite challenging, especially if you’ve become practiced at always being overly critical of yourself. Suppose you’re having difficulty finding positive words to replace the negative self-talk. In that case, you can start by seeing yourself through the eyes of those who love and support you unconditionally. What would they say about you? Once you’ve answered that question, ask yourself why you aren’t saying those kinds of things about yourself.
Listen, everyone has moments of self-doubt and uncertainty, but the most important underlying factor is your intention. If you move through life with good, loving intentions and focus on becoming a better version of yourself with each day that you’re alive, there’s no need to beat yourself up with negative self-talk.
Change is always possible. It all begins when you turn your attention to that inner dialogue that’s always there directing your actions. What are you saying about you? Becoming consciously aware of the conversations that are driving your actions and emotions is the first step toward shifting to more empowering words. If, by chance, you’re finding it difficult to deviate away from that negative way of thinking, you may want to consider some Clinical Hypnotherapy to help you purge those repetitive thoughts. By learning how to see things with a different, more positive perspective, you can begin to focus on the good in yourself and your life. By doing so, you will then train your brain to seek and find goodness in everything.
Using a combination of Spiritual Guidance and Hypnotherapy, I provide people with the tools and opportunities they need to create positive, lasting changes in the way they see themselves and view the world. If I can be of service to you, please contact me for a free consultation.
Susan deCaussin CHt
