By Phil Rosenbaum
Many people do not realize how important making small talk is. A lot of people, especially young people today, do not feel comfortable engaging in small talk. However, small talk is extremely important for a number of reasons.
Research has demonstrated that small talk is crucial in creating bonds for better family and romantic relationships. Small talk builds rapport and combats loneliness. It helps develop better relationships: better family relationships and better romantic relationships. It helps develop better business relationships and can enhance career prospects. Small talk can improve leadership abilities and may lead to new friendships.
It can enhance health and happiness by lifting your mood, increasing your energy and well-being, improving your self-esteem, and reducing anxiety in social situations. Small talk can promote learning and can expand one’s worldview. Small talk is essential in establishing the human connections that we all desire. In fact, it is a vital component of having a fulfilled and happy life.
Unfortunately, modern technology has made it more difficult for younger people to become adept at making small talk. They may find small talk unimportant. They much prefer texting or sending e-mails, which eliminates face-to-face contact. Many report having anxiety when forced to make small talk. Many young people express that they lack the skills required to engage in pleasant small talk and feel uncomfortable in situations that require them to do so.
Small talk is a skill that can be learned, and with practice, one can become much more adept and comfortable engaging in it. There are many things people can do to improve their ability to carry on small talk. The following are a few suggestions for becoming more proficient at small talk. Ask open-ended questions. Focus on being an active listener. Show genuine interest in the other person. Use friendly body language, maintain eye contact, and smile. Give compliments. Comment on a topic of general interest. Ask people about their experiences. Be willing to share your knowledge. Talk about what you’ve heard or what you’ve read. Share anecdotes. You could talk about books, restaurants, work, holidays, traffic, or weather. In addition, find approachable people, offer your name, and use their name. Be prepared by having some conversation starters.
Debra Fine, in her book Small Talk, gives some examples of good questions or statements to further a conversation once you’ve gotten through the initial introductions, including the tried and true “What do you do for a living?” and “What do you like to do in your spare time?” She suggests such “icebreakers” as: “Tell me about the best vacation you’ve ever taken.” “What one thing would you really like to own? Why?” “What is a typical day like for you?” “What is your favorite restaurant? Why?” “Tell me about a movie or book you’ve seen
or read more than once.” “Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met.” Debra gives many more icebreakers in her book.
There are some things one should refrain from talking about. These include finances, politics, sex, religion, death, age, appearance, personal gossip, offensive jokes, narrow topics, past relationships, and health. It is recommended that one stick to positive topics and avoid complaining.
If you are having serious issues or anxiety with small talk, there are things you can do to remedy the situation. Joining a The “Toastmasters” group can boost your confidence. Therapy can also be helpful. Or, one might consider hypnosis, which can be very beneficial in reducing the anxiety involved in making small talk and helping you feel much more comfortable doing so.
If you would like more information about hypnosis, please call Phil Rosenbaum at 248-688-6469. Hypnotherapy is safe. It works, and it does not require a great number of sessions. Don’t let fear of small talk be a big issue for you.
