By Susan deCaussin
For many, thoughts of the approaching holiday season can fall short of conjuring up warm and loving images in our minds. At the holidays, much more than any other time of the year, there’s this unspoken pressure to gather with relatives and create beautiful Hallmark moments. We’ve been spoonfed images of what a perfect family should look like by the media. Each year many people struggle to match that image, and then deal with disappointment and emotional fallout when those expectations don’t mirror reality.
Every year, around the holidays, I see a strong theme at my office – people are overrun with anxiety. They can even feel overwhelmed with a duty to “fix” family issues in order to create those warm and fuzzy gatherings that we’ve come to believe should happen.
Several years ago, I asked Spirit why so many families have such a difficult time getting along with each other. Shouldn’t we feel a deeper love and respect for family over friends and strangers? The explanation I received helped me to understand my own family dynamic and provided me with something to share with my clients who have struggled similarly over the years.
Spirit asked, “If you pulled up to a red light in your car, and another car pulled up next to you that was the exact same make, model, and color as yours, would you automatically assume that you had some profound connection with the driver of that vehicle?” To that, I replied, “But of course not! Why would I?” They went on to say, “Then why is it that you assume that you’ll automatically have a deep connection with the family that you come from? The body is nothing more than a vehicle for your soul during this Earthbound experience. You chose to come into this world through a family that would launch you in the direction of the experiences that would provide the life lessons you wanted to have. Your souls are as different as your thumbprints.”
The belief that family members should have a deeper, more loving, more understanding, and supportive relationship with each other is a myth that’s been pushed on us by society. While we should always be loving in our thoughts, words, and actions towards everyone we interact with – family or otherwise – it’s not our responsibility to force close bonds between individuals with differing ideas and beliefs. Each soul is like an original work of art – uniquely imprinted by every experience it’s encountered since the moment of its creation. And therefore, as we move through life, we begin to naturally attract other souls into our life who are of a like vibration. These are individuals with similar interests, opinions and values. That’s why so many people lovingly refer to their close friends as their “second family”.
I’m not suggesting that holiday gatherings should be marked as obsolete, but I am saying that by understanding and appreciating our differences, we can release the need to “fix” our families in an attempt to emulate the unreachable goal of achieving a picture-perfect holiday. Instead, we can simply respect each other for the unique individuals that we are and let go of the rest. Reminder: perfection doesn’t exist!
If you deal with anxiety, Spiritual Guidance and Hypnotherapy sessions can help to release those negative emotions and create a state of inner peace. Complimentary consultations are just a phone call away. Reach out if I can be of assistance. Have a peaceful holiday season!
Susan deCaussin CHt