Spring is the time for renewal, for looking at one’s life and growth in the direction of our goals, especially in the relationship arena. Relationships, of course, are thought of day in and day out, even every moment by our subconscious mind. Most want a loving relationship with someone they feel completes them. Then, if there are children, everyone wants their children to love them. What about friends? Co-workers? How about you? How are your relationships?
Doing my best to be in the moment, and feel, be mindful and come from a place of love, and working with my clients, I’ve noticed that there develops a pattern. This pattern is laid down by society, schools, work, and ultimately…. by parents. The pattern is demonstrated with sayings like, “Work before play.” People working longer hours. More homework for school. More need for our children to demonstrate their devotion to school and society with extracurricular activities. They even now at young ages do “group projects” to learn how to be grown-ups and focus on work over play/socializing. A young client recently told me that he’s only friendly to those who can do something for him.
How sad is that??? The focus is on work, getting the grade, the material goods. Yet, everyone wants friends, partners, and lovers as adults. I think this is the loneliest generation yet. We are taught since childhood to focus on the outer things, and that will make us happy. Sad, let me make you some food. Want a friend, buy them something, or better yet, don’t say no to them, give in to them, dress like them. Even the messages of, “Go to church but be a good boy/girl — let’s keep this secret to ourselves and I’ll love you.” Lots of mixed messages and a focus on the superficial to be happy.
I was just at a seminar and do you know that the latest research shows? I’m surprised to say, that being married is not a predictor of being happy and having a long life. Apparently, 3 out of 4 marriages end in divorce in the USA. Also, you are not alone if you are single: since 1970, in the USA, of adults 21 years or older, 52% are single. Considering the above, this may actually be good news.
The most important predictor of having a long and happy life is….. drum roll please….. having a strong spiritual base! That is what rules! Our connection with our Higher Power, our Higher Self, our connection to the Divine, is what matters most! This is something we can go within and cultivate…. all just between ourself and Divine Source! This is just amazing that someone came out with this research. Just google it!
The second most reliable predictor for females is being single with 2-3 close friends, and for men… being single and having a dog. Yep, the stereotypes are there apparently in the research! The third predictor is what you would expect; a diet high in protein and complex carbohydrates and moderate exercise. Moderate for a reason, our bodies are not built to withstand a lot of physical abuse; there has never been an Olympian or marathon runner that lived to be 100 years old.
So for a happier, longer life, put your energy towards connecting with Divine Source. Awakening to God/Divine Source is the foundation of all you desire. Knowing and connecting with the Divine, you are able to realize that: 1) Everything really does happen for you, not to you; 2) All is really in Divine Order — so there is no need to fear, fear is not real, just a created state of mind that actually separates us from the Divine; 3) You really are okay, Divine in and of yourself because you are part of the universe that is Divine; 4) And so, you realize that Everyone is Divine.
Spiritual connection, having a strong spiritual base, is absolutely key to being happy! That is the most significant source of happiness and health. It’s always nice (especially for the ego) to have confirmation of what I have always known intuitively and experientially. If you want a great relationship, start with God/Divine Source. Then, learn to accept and love yourself, know yourself as the Divine person/spirit you are. Knowing that you are Divine and having a human experience, making mistakes — learning from them, being hurt — and forgiving others/self, using life experiences for growth and being the best you can be, growing towards self-actualization.
Then, you have the spiritual, emotional and mental strength for growing in a relationship and attracting a person of like vibration to you. At that point, there’s another layer to your spiritual, emotional and mental growth. Yet, having a foundation of connection cemented with God/Divine Source, you have a greater chance of joy and long life. For no matter what you do, having this foundation, and the knowledge that you are Divine, whole and complete, is the recipe for joy and attracting more of that, who and what your vibration and focus is, to you. Then, you can have the relationships you’ve always wanted, you’ll just attract them to you.
Have fun and long life!
Love and Light,
Miche Lame’
