Love used as a trade agreement is a weak love. Love is who you are. It is what Creation has already made you to be. If you perceive love as something that can be given or received, then it can also be taken away. When love is used as a commodity to acquire, we give up our inner guidance and freedom. Forgetting that Love is the foundation of our being, we sacrifice eternity for rags.
When you experience “receiving love,” you are simply remembering your True Self. When you open your heart, you are not opening to anything outside of you.
In “receiving love” you are simply remembering the qualities of Creation that you truly are. You are love, beauty, joy, happiness and wisdom waiting to be expressed on the planet. Life/God in Its trillion forms of expression, desires to come into form as you. In “giving love” you have allowed an inward permission to let your True Self be seen and heard. In this “giving,” you are shining or emanating what is already within you, and serving as a living reminder to what is possible in others.
Your body is in you, you are not in your body. Like a football in the middle of a field, your body is in the field of your Soul. By loving all parts of you, witnessing your emotions and patterns with compassion, you expand your self-awareness into that field. The field is Love. As you realize you are the field, you spontaneously unite with the unified field of Creation.
God is all there Is. Love is all there Is. The egoic mind will try to convince you that in accepting these principals, you lose something. Yet, it is not until you embrace the truth that a partner or the world cannot give you anything, that you can have everything. You enjoy a deeper sweetness with people and life when you stop trying to manipulate others to get your needs met or control an outcome. Paradoxically, by realizing you have it already, you will have your “needs” met externally.
We become something other than Love (True Self) in childhood to seek approval, model our parents or avoid pain. In attempts to find “love” we look for “love” outside of ourselves. These limited forms of love become patterns, belief systems, and a source of our identity. What we believe “makes us” worthy, will be a source of identification. We resist letting go to the Love we are, because it requires a letting go of false identifications.
As we look for “love” in all the wrong places, here are some common false identification pitfalls:
l Martyr love: Love given to feel their worth, appease an external God, or rescue another. Worth is based on being needed and to the response to the love given. Would you give a gift and then call someone up every hour to see if they are using it? Those that give this limited form of love will be magnets to those who believe the world owes them (Victim Love)
l Victim love: Worth is based on others’ approval. Victim love is based on a belief that someone has something you don’t, causing grasping, manipulation and anxiety of a person leaving. In this pattern a person fears love’s loss, but paradoxically has already abandoned themselves by believing they are lacking. Those in victim love usually believe they have had it rougher than others and deserve special treatment.
l Dominant love: Worth is based on if people agree with them and obey their will. This love when given, pushes the internal will and voice of another aside. Those that base their worth in a dominate love are in a constant push-pull with others’ thoughts and opinions. People in this pattern put great pressure on themselves to “measure up” and look good. There is a drive to be the smartest person in the boardroom or bedroom.
l Submissive love: Worth is based on a loss of self. This person loves by letting go of their inner voice, personal space, and power. People in this pattern have not learned that they can be autonomous and be in relationship. Sovereignty is scary to one who believes in a submissive love. Those that live in this form of love, unconsciously seek to be in relationship with those who believe in dominant love.
Admitting these patterns and limited forms of love takes great courage. The ego mind will fight yielding to real Love. God will never ask us to let go of something that empowers us. Trust Love. Trust God. When you surrender to the Love that is never born and will never die, your grip on temporary identifications will lessen. Remember, your patterns are a tiny part of you, and not your full, beautiful True Self.
Love as who you are (verses a trade agreement for finding one’s worth), seems less romantic and impersonal. But love lived from this space will actually ignite greater compassion, forgiveness and spontaneity within you. When your Love is embodied, you can no longer be imprisoned by a relationship. In knowing that your living example ignites another into what they already have, you no longer feel burdened by loving another.
Open to Love as you, and you will no longer believe people are their personalities, because you have seen beyond the veil of your own. When you no longer look for another to define you, you are free to be yourself.
Barbra White
