by Ed Trainor
Self-esteem is a sense of one’s value or feelings about oneself. Frequently we base our self-esteem on things like accomplishments, treatment from others (likes), fame, power, looks, love, money, possessions, external events, talent, and winning. While these might give us a boost in the short term, in the long term, they can be lacking. Looks can fade. Money can disappear. Love can vanish. Possessions can be destroyed.
Inferiority or low self-esteem can generate unhealthy reactions: obsession with oneself, the mirage of superiority, gullibility, blaming others for our failures, bullying, and suffering. Frequently, the egotist is covering his deep-seated insecurity and needs constant confirmation that he is important.
There are four approaches we can take to self-esteem:
(1) Recognizing that human worth is just an abstraction.
It is an idea. It is not engraved in stone.
(2) Accepting that everyone has one unit of worth.
This promises to be rewarding and sometimes challenging. It does not mean that someone is not accountable for bad behavior. It does open us up to “Judge not lest ye be Judged.” It does mean that you, I, and everyone else are equal in our worth as human beings.
(3) Realize that only your believing your negative thoughts can cause you to lose a sense of self-worth
(4) Viewing self-esteem as your decision to treat yourself as a valued friend.
We will be better off if we can incorporate all four into our lives.
