By Wendy Powers Nugent
Most people want to be kind to others. In little ways, we can help people on their life journey by being a good friend and thinking of others first.
Others may not realize that while you are going out of your way to help them, you are feeling alone, unappreciated, or even forgotten. You find yourself asking, when will my life start to go right? I help others and want them to find happiness, but why don’t they know I am hurting?
Many of my readings deal with loneliness and people feeling lost. It is hard to ask for help or even to realize that others can help. Instead, you may curl up into your sadness, slipping into a depression while you put on a smile in a joyful manner to help others. After all, it feels so good to help others in their time of need, even when not reciprocated by others. You may ask yourself why others don’t notice your troubles and inner pain.
Maybe your relationships are not working, or you may not have found anyone to walk through this life with you. You may ask God, am I destined to be alone, having an unfilled life? Surely, I deserve happiness.
As we celebrate Valentine’s Day (the month of Love), you find yourself a bit left out, even angry that you are surrounded by others sharing tokens of Love… Sadly, you start to feel that being a good person, helping others, and supporting everyone only backfires on you. Your heart is empty, and you may think the universe is not on your side.
What is wrong? You may even start to doubt your friendships, maybe even pull away from pursuing a social life. Depression may take over.
Some people may even become more of a doer (work acholic), helping and giving beyond their means, giving of time they don’t have. Until they simply exhaust themselves and slip sometimes into a darkness of sadness and unwellness.
Let’s look at that first rule of Kindness; maybe you have fallen into the trap of being a giver but not a receiver.
The First rule of Kindness may seem obvious.”Be kind to yourself.”
It seems simple, but our first instinct is often to give but not receive. We want to receive, but if people think everything is okay with you, they will only see you as a giver and feel you don’t need to receive. Example: I know most of you have flown in an airplane, and while the flight attendants say; Make sure you put your mask on before you help others, do you know why? Simple, you may pass out or worse before you can help your family or others put their masks on. You need to have oxygen first so you can help others. That holds true in dealing with your everyday life.
The second rule of Kindness is “First Love Yourself.”
The acronym is F.L.Y. Interesting, isn’t it? Yes, you will F.L.Y. with joy when you love yourself. If you have ever been in Love in your life, you know the wonderful elated feeling of being around the one you love, in this case, yourself. Loving yourself has nothing to do with ego. Being kind to yourself is simple: do first what you know will help you, then duplicate it for others. Example: If you tell a friend, well, you need to expect this (fill in the blank) and don’t give in to others will over your own needs. Have a meeting of the minds without compromising your joy. If you feel others may be taking your joy for granted or not showing you respect, then it is time to make changes. We all, at times, experience bad situations and may accept the situation, feeling helpless about the outcome because we don’t want to hurt others. However, you are hurting the one person you should love the most: yourself.
The third rule of Kindness is to be patient with yourself.
This is a tough one, as we all over criticize ourselves for one thing or another. Most of us are much kinder to others (friends) than we are to ourselves. However, others may not notice that we are in need of some T.L.C. as you seem to be in control and confident. It’s okay to accept someone in to help you at times.
This Valentine’s Day, make yourself your Valentine, love yourself, and make a commitment to be loyal to yourself. If you do this, you will become an even better friend and experience a more fulfilled life.
F.L.Y. this Valentine’s Day at the speed of Love
