By Miche Lame
What we focus on builds and expands. There is now a lot of research out there documenting this idea. McTaggert and her book, “The Intention Experiment” was the dawning of putting what we intuitively realize into experiments proving that our intentions/thoughts create what we experience. That idea/focus/thought expanded from there. Now, we have a lot of research that has jumped on the bandwagon, proving that what we focus on builds and expands in our life.
The basic premise is, again, what we think and focus on is what we perceive – everywhere! I had a client who received an email at the end of a trying day when he was in a bad mood. He skimmed it and concluded his boss wasn’t happy with him and he was going to get fired. He wrote a scathing letter, didn’t email it (wisely decided to prove it when he wasn’t angry), and went to bed. The next day, re-reading the letter, he realized his boss was actually complimenting him! Good thing he didn’t send the letter!
This is an example of how our thoughts which lead to emotions, then color the lenses and read “energy,” through which we perceive and experience our lives. This example also demonstrates how our behavior can then create the very thing we feared! If my client had sent that email, chances are there would’ve been negative repercussions – and possibly a firing, what he was afraid of. He could’ve created what his negative thought and focus was about in the first place.
Another type of situation is fairly common when we look back in hindsight. Often in relationships, our programming/thoughts are based on what we experienced in the home; our genetics can also predict negative/positive thoughts leading to our emotions, leading to our behavior. We unconsciously keep recreating our childhood experiences, and those experiences expand. Therefore, these underlying subconscious thoughts are recreating the relationship our parents had- that’s why I think the relationships of children of divorce often end in divorce. This pattern is already programmed in the subconscious, a way to recreate abandonment, not being good enough, not lovable enough, and the need to please others as examples of dysfunctional relationships.
Why do we recreate our childhood patterns, especially trauma? The subconscious looks to recreate patterns ( feels safer as it knows what to expect) and so will look for those who fit those patterns, and if not, will behave in a way to bring that pattern out. And “trauma repetition” occurs often; I can not tell you how often a client works through a trauma, changes their behavior, and their partner magically seems to stop the behavior that was triggering neg emotions. Or the partner leaves and the person is attracted to someone without that trigger, who is quite possibly able to have and support a healthy relationship.
I love A Course in Miracles! It was where I personally was introduced to the idea of identifying negative thoughts, then being vigilant to be aware of them, stop sleepwalking about, work through them, and reframe/replace them with positive thoughts that bring about long-term happiness. In fact, I support short, positive affirmations like “I love myself” and “I am energetic,” my current ones, as many times as can be remembered every day upon waking till going to sleep. That reprograms the subconscious with two intentional and positive thoughts and creates more love and energy, as those are the focus!
I recommend just using 1-2 statements, so the focus is more – focused! Where our focus is, that’s where the energy goes and builds. It’s like being in an ocean, swimming for one buoy versus keeping on changing your mind and swimming towards one buoy, changing your mind and swimming towards another, then changing your mind… and you get the picture. Just choose mindfully 1-2 feel-good positive thoughts to create what you desire. And your energy will change, as well as have the whole universe and angels supporting your efforts.
Just remember, our thoughts determine our focus, and that focus, as well as the universe, our very energy, looks for ways to fulfill those thoughts, so what we think, what we focus on expands. The subconscious is happy, we might not be, but the subconscious feels safe, happy in its recognition of a pattern it wants to expand. So, be mindful of your thoughts as what we focus on builds and expands, and that’s what we experience.
Love and Light,
Miche Lame’, M.A.L.L.P