By Susan deCaussin
Generally speaking, when we see something we don’t like, our first reaction is disappointment, perhaps anger, or even resentment. We can feel a need to create change in that situation or person in order to release the negative emotions we’re feeling at that moment. This isn’t surprising when you think about it. It’s pretty much the basis for ALL conflicts, both locally and globally. We’ve been conditioned to believe that our happiness is predicated on the situations and people around us, so we constantly strive to change our environment to attain that state of inner peace.
It’s never about what happens to you. It’s always about how you choose to react to it!
In recent years, there’s been much emphasis on self-improvement through mindfulness and increased self-awareness. Many people are taking seminars, reading books, and attending retreats to find peace in their lives. Putting those things aside, I believe that if you pay attention to the outside triggers that bring about unwanted emotions, you can learn volumes about yourself and stop basing your happiness on everything outside of you. It’s a powerful way of living. You can be in the midst of chaos and still be at peace.
Life is like looking into a mirror. When you see things that set you off, it’s more than likely because it’s triggering an insecurity or wound within you. Recognizing these moments gives you a wonderful opportunity to dive deep and heal so that those triggers cease to exist. And when you stop living reactively, you begin to take full control of your joy,
The very moment that you take total responsibility for all of your feelings, you’ll drop the finger-pointing mentality, which seems to be running rampant in society, and stop feeling like a victim of circumstances. When something causes a negative emotion to surface within you, it’s the perfect opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of yourself. When you become aware of your triggers, you can start the process of understanding exactly why it’s affecting you so much, and then begin to heal that wounded aspect of yourself. Then, when a similar situation presents itself, you’ll no longer be negatively affected.
In this chapter of my life, I consistently try to identify those people and things that trigger unwanted emotions. When I feel uncomfortable, reactions surface, and I ask myself, “Exactly why is this setting me off?” The answer doesn’t always come quickly or easily but inevitably sheds light on some aspect of my belief system that is out of alignment with my True self. Using this practice, I have stopped judging or blaming others in exchange for a deeper understanding of what makes me tick. I accept every interaction as an invitation to learn more about the insecurities and beliefs holding me back from living my highest and best life.
As a Clinical Hypnotherapist, I know very well that my emotions are based on the quality of my thoughts. Therefore, I carefully monitor my thoughts and take full responsibility for the way I react to life. So, when someone says or does something that annoys me, I imagine that they are holding up a mirror. That image reminds me that life is about self-discovery. It’s up to me to take responsibility for my emotions by examining the thoughts driving them. Then, by gaining this deeper understanding, I can purposely shift my thoughts to align more accurately with the peace and love at the core of my being.
Susan deCaussin CHt
