Are Your Thoughts Working For You?

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       Many people do not think twice about what they are telling themselves or what they are thinking. But this could be a very serious mistake. Wayne Dyer, psychologist, motivational speaker and author, who recently passed away, actually wrote a book titled: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao.

       Another very influential speaker and author, Louise Hay, had a similar message when she wrote “your thoughts create your life…what you think and what you believe will come true for you.” Many other authors and therapists share these views.

       Marisa Peer, a therapist, offers an interesting example. If you needed to get a “Magnetic Resonance Imaging” or MRI test, what you say to yourself could determine if you are able to go through it successfully or not. If you tell yourself that this is going to be awful,  that it will be like lying in a coffin, you may not last for more than a couple of minutes. However, if you think that this is going to be great, that you can let go of all your worries and just relax and enjoy the experience, then you are much more likely to be able to go through the entire experience without much difficulty.
       Another example is that of a salesperson or phone canvasser. People who do these kinds of jobs get lots of rejections. They may call 100 people and only a handful of the people called will be receptive. If the salesman makes a few calls and keeps getting “no” for an answer, he or she may think, “I’m never going to get a sale,” or “I’m not cut out for this,” and soon give up or even quit the job. However, if the salesperson has thoughts such as, “every call I make gets me closer to a sale,” he or she will stick with the job until the sale occurs. Just by what the salesperson tells him or herself, will totally change the outcome.

       You can probably come up with numerous examples. When you were young and starting to date, you may have found yourself thinking, “this person will never go out with me. He or she is too popular or too smart or too good looking.” Conversely, you may have had thoughts such as, “I’m not smart enough or popular enough,” or maybe even “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m not in his or her league.” Obviously with these kinds of thoughts, you are not very likely to ask the person out for a date, or if you do, the chances of success are not awfully good. However, if you tell yourself things like “I’m a terrific person; I have a lot to offer; I’m an interesting conversationalist; I’m intelligent; I have a lot to offer,” you are much more likely to take the chance and ask the person out.

       Albert Ellis, who was a famous psychologist, told a story about being terrified of asking women out on a date. He finally decided that he would force himself to sit next to a young lady and initiate a conversation, and then ask the lady out. He stated that he did this 100 times and got rejected 99 times. The one lady who agreed to meet with him later never showed up. Although he had disappointing results, he was able to overcome his fear of talking to women and asking them out. Despite the outcome, his thoughts remained positive.

Let me offer one additional example. An interesting sports experiment was conducted several years ago. Two sports psychologists hooked tennis players up to recording devices and had them say into the recorder everything they were thinking while playing a game. They found that the best players were incredibly positive. If they missed a shot they would simply say, “let it go,” or “no big deal.” If they made a good shot they would congratulate themselves with “great job” or “alright!”  Their positive thoughts made them very successful. This is the kind of thinking we all need to engage in.

       If you are having trouble keeping your thoughts positive, hypnosis can be very helpful in achieving this goal. If you would like to find out more about hypnosis, or experience a session, please call Phil Rosenbaum at 248-688-6469. Changing your thoughts will truly change your life.

Phil Rosenbaum

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