By Phil Rosenbalm
In a famous quote by Henry Ford, he stated, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.” Assuming that to be true, the question is why do some individuals believe they can, while others believe they can’t. To understand this, one needs to look at their self-talk. Do you ever notice what messages you are telling yourself? You may be telling yourself negative messages such as the following: “I never do anything right,” “I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed,” “I can’t do it as well as others,” “I’m a terrible person,” “I’m so stupid,” “nothing I do works,” “bad things always happen to me,” “I lack the skills or the ability to succeed,” “I’m not smart enough,” “I can’t handle it,” or “I’m not good enough.” If you are telling yourself these messages, it will no doubt lead to feeling a sense of helplessness, decreased motivation to try new things, and lowered self-esteem. It also can lead to depression and anxiety. This self-talk will cause you to believe “you can’t.”
In the book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers contends that one of the main reasons people do not take healthy risks is that they are telling themselves, “I can’t handle it.” One needs to start telling oneself, “I can handle it.” In addition, she believes that taking a risk is the only way to overcome the fear.
How much different would your life be if instead of telling yourself all these negative messages, you replaced them with much more positive messages such as “I’m good enough,” “I’m as good as anyone else,” “I can succeed,” “ I’m smart,” “ I expect good things to happen,” “I’m loveable,” “ I’m capable,” “I deserve to be happy and successful?” The difference in your life would be immeasurable.
Why do we choose the negative if it takes just as much energy to say something positive as something negative? The main problem has to do with messages we received when we were growing up, especially between ages one and seven. During these early years, we accept anything we are told as true; unfortunately, many of these statements are not healthy. They could be from parents, siblings, caregivers, etc. Despite the belief children are resilient, these messages go into our subconscious mind and will later dictate how we think and act. In addition, because these messages are in the subconscious part of the mind, we are often not even aware that we believe them, although we act as if they were true. In fact, these messages are not true at all, yet by believing them, we greatly diminish our ability to be happy and successful.
You may be asking what we can do about this harmful situation. The answer is two-fold. First, we need to find out where these messages came from and realize they are not true, and then we have to start telling ourselves the correct and much more positive and life-affirming messages.
An excellent way to change these messages is with the use of affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements that help you refute the negative self-sabotaging thoughts. The key to being successful with affirmations is to continually repeat them to yourself every day until the desired result is obtained. Sticking with this is the difficult part. If you can, however, you will see amazing results. Telling yourself these positive messages may seem crazy at first; however, if you persist, you will eventually come to believe them.
It has been said that if you repeat a lie often enough, people will come to believe it. The opposite is also true. If you repeat the truth to yourself often enough, you will come to believe it. The key is to stick with it and not give up. By continually telling yourself these new positive messages, you will come to believe them and become a person who “thinks he or she can.”
If you need some help in making these changes, hypnotherapy is an excellent method to assist you. Hypnosis can not only help you find out where these negative messages originated, i.e., the root of the problem, but it can also help you develop the habit of using the affirmations daily. If you would like to learn more about hypnosis or experience a session, please call Phil Rosenbaum at 248-688-6469. This is a great time to become a person who believes “I can.”
