Inner Intimacy


By Alethea M Howard

Intimacy does not always exist between man and women. Intimacy begins with the one-on-one individual self. The time we spend alone in our own thoughts, nurturing and getting to know ourselves is the time and space of our own intimacy. It is the quiet time when we relax, to let go, and become one with Self.

Intimacy is an intimate act – intimate pertaining to the innermost character of a thing, as worded in Webster’s Dictionary. I will be discussing here the innermost character of a person’s individuality and sharing this character with another human being.

I like to think of intimacy as being aware of who and what we are at a given moment. Once we bring our consciousness to the awareness of our own being, then we can share and be intimate with another. Trusting, expressing, and being comfortable with each other are the most nurturing and relaxing moments in a relationship.

To experience intimacy is the sense of being in touch with our real selves; it’s an awareness of what and who we are. Yet, the most profound awareness of ourselves transpires when we open up with another human. The awareness one has of one’s self in the presence of another person to whom one is closely related is the essence of intimacy.

The more time we set aside for intimacy to promote growth in the relationship, the more we become of truth and love within. A plant needs attention, watering, and nurturing to grow, so we as humans need the substance of love and tender care to grow, stand tall and strong, and maintain a solid foundation in our relationships.

As in all things, humans need balance in life. We must have our space to be alone, to get in touch with our real selves. I like to call this our own balance of intimacy. Knowing thyself first allows us to be ourselves freely and fully in the presence of another. Being ourselves freely and fully in the presence of another can be joyful and enlightening.

When we take time for ourselves, we are committed to the growth of our relationship. We need to take time to be intimate with ourselves first to really appreciate being intimate with another. It is a time to nurture, meditate, walk alone, hug a tree, or sit in silence; whatever we choose is much needed for our own wellness. It is a time of being aware and focusing on where we are going in this life! To nurture relationships, we must take time and space to re-energize and renew our spirit.

Intimacy can be a profound experience; it is the growth and strength of our relationship. It is the courage to see each other eye to eye, to see in another what we see in ourselves. It is a connection of oneness within us, and when we recognize this oneness, it gives us the opportunity to accept one another for all the wonder and mystery we hold within us.

In intimacy, we walk hand in hand, side by side as equals, knowing this is truly a way of being and doing in life. It is a natural part of us that wants to be fulfilled and nurtured for us to become vital and totally free. We all want the freedom to be who we are (without the should and shouldn’t) to be the very essence of the wholeness within us.

Intimacy can be any numerous experiences we create; a walk together, sitting holding hands, talking calmly with one another, holding each other in silence. Whatever our choice, we create the intimacy of our being and the strength of our relationship. It is important that we explore our oneness with our universal self and those who we choose to be in a relationship with; by doing so, we touch the core of our own being in the most delightful way.

It is like coming home to that secret place where all is calm. We flow in peace and love in the space of our own balance of intimacy, trusting in ourselves and the process of life to manifest the beautiful, loving, caring, all-powerful Being within us.


Step into the flow of life,

Become yourself beyond a doubt.

Life brings all things about,

Planting seeds to sprout,

Pouring rain to cleanse us throughout.

Clouds changing in the sky…

Earth evolving around, life forces

Stirring without a sound.

Feel the life in your limbs,

Reach for love, and it’s glory,

Living free to tell your story,

Flowing through life in your own territory.

Alethea Monk Howard


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