By Barbra White
We have been taught through cultural assumptions, religion, and spiritual bypassing to overvalue individualism and devalue connection. The viral sharing of this meme on FB indicates an attraction to this invulnerability doctrine: “Expect nothing.” What if the emotion of disappointment is healthy and part of healthy relating? How about “Do everything with a good heart AND communicate needs and feelings vulnerably and directly.” Yes, I understand; this meme would not be as catchy and enticing with that phrasing. But why is that?
Vulnerability is the place where one creates, connects, and steps into a greater purpose. Yet, it is deeply vulnerable to receive. That’s why the most common phrase my husband Dave and I hear after our combined 40+ years of teaching self-love is, “I have trouble receiving love” or “I don’t ask for what I need.”
Teachings that promote invulnerability are like “crack to the ego.” Our fragile separate self (aka ego) ‘sucks up’ any doctrine that promotes escaping our humanity and the vulnerability of life.
Disappointment is a part of a fully loving and intimate connection with life. Expect the best from life, yourself, and people…and yes, sometimes expectations will be broken.
We are one and interconnected. Yet, realizing this is scary at times, especially when you see what we are doing to our food systems, violence towards populations of people, and our Earth home.
Interestingly, honoring our need for connection is now radical in our colonized, high-tech, low-touch, patriarchal, materialistic, hyper-individualized wounded society. By understanding our culturally taught resistance to being vulnerable, we can now compassionately understand why the root of Courage (Cor) is Latin for heart. Learning to connect with others, nature, and yourself is greatly needed to heal pathological aloneness and depression. Our work at Mother Bear Sanctuary, Self Acceptance Process, and Divine Feminine Shamans directly addresses and heals this dire need in our society.
If you love with your whole heart, you will sometimes be heartbroken. Just as leaves fall from the tree.… it’s all part of life’s flow and our Soul Expansion. The benefits of accepting your True Soul brilliance AND resting in the fragility of life itself are allowing LOVE to be received and given, embodied Oneness, and healthy relationships.
Receptive Softness feeds the Full bloom. It’s how a tree gives so much…. by simply being Itself.
Yet…the dance of receptivity and expression requires deep listening, humility, and discernment. A hardened, cynical stance to just “doing my thing” or invulnerability is easier at first; it is why this approach is so popular. This approach is sometimes people’s only option for survival if they haven’t learned the tools of self-love and conscious communication! Compassionately understanding what people don’t understand is crucial to happiness and holding a vision of a person’s true Christ/Buddha Self.
Life’s richest moments are shared, and it’s in courageously communicating our true feelings and needs that embodied Oneness (aka God) and unshakable happiness is realized.
July 13th Self-Acceptance Process Retreat Day at Mother Bear Sanctuary 11-5, Sliding Scale and Scholarships. MotherBearSanctuary.com. We are honored to support you in loving all parts of yourself and resting in your innate preciousness. Text Dave Tuscany for a discovery call at 586-907-6125, Or e-mail Barbra WhiteCrow at motherbearsanctuary@gmail.com to sign up!
