By Miche Lame
By now, most of us are aware that what we believe and think on a subconscious level determines how we experience life. It really is all in our mind. I’ve read quite a few studies that have shown the mind controls most of how we experience our reality.
This has been implied or referred to by many greats, like Einstein, who said, “Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.” We’ve heard, “If you think it, you be it.” Buddha said, “Our life is shaped by our mind: we become what we think.” There are plenty of sayings we read and hear about this concept of the mind being in control as they are all over the place.
The problem, we psychotherapists know, is that the mind was developed to look out for what is dangerous to us and to avoid these dangers so we could survive. Our brain focuses on the negative, plain and simple. Our wonderful brain does exactly what our genetics have developed it to do – it not only focuses on the negative, but our mind actually searches for the negative.
Life was about survival thousands of years ago, not about being happy, connected with the divine, and surrounded by loving family. Our mind and ego’s “comfort zone” is looking for attacks, the negative around us.
Take a good, real look at your life. Can you find the positive? Feel the gratitude? Focus on that. A good, well-used practice is keeping a gratitude journal. It might be difficult at first – keep at it. It can change your life.
The brain is not alone in this programming; our subconscious mind and ego also support our brains on the focus on negativity.
The subconscious loves patterns from the past and tries to make our current experiences fit into those patterns. Unfortunately for a lot of us, our childhood is full of negative experiences, as is our teens and adulthood. Working them out in therapy is a great choice for starting to reprogram your mind, ego, and subconscious.
I’ve found in working with clients the subconscious especially gloms onto old, negative patterns of experiencing and behaving. We work and re-wire the subconscious layer by layer and can support this work by intentionally changing our physical behavior and thoughts with affirmations and other ways.
You can look online for a picture of what’s called “cycles of behavior.” These will be pictures that your subconscious can relate to. Then, you have to be authentic with yourself to identify the triggers you have that trigger your unwanted behavior and thoughts. Then, choose a step in your own cycle that you are willing to go “off script” and replace the negative reaction/behavior with a desired one.
It will feel uncomfortable for both you and the person you have these cycles with, especially family and close friends. It will be worth it! You have the power and control. You will be intentionally creating the life you want!
Love and Light,
Miche Lame’, M.A.L.L.P
