Therapists can be great guides and bring different perspectives to the table. It’s why people come to see me. I was reminded this week of some clients, not many, who come into my office and just are too scared to speak — or conversely, talk without taking a break. They have a difficult time letting me know why they’re there, why they feel they need help and yet want something miraculous to happen so their life changes. Some seem to desire a magic wand or pill that can re-make their lives in a way they’ve dreamt of.
I have news! If you want your life to change, you can do the work to be the change you want in your life! If you want more positive thoughts — you create more positive thoughts and reframe the negative thoughts into positive-vibrationed ones. Desire better relationships? You can make those changes by putting in the work. As with anything, the moment you truly start to put energy into change, that’s the moment when things really start happening in your favor. Because you are using your free will to make mindful changes and where your energy goes, that’s what grows!
I had a client who for two years just didn’t do any “homework” that he either decided on or that I suggested. There were always excuses and rationalizations as to why these things often didn’t get even started. Then, one holiday, his family was gone for two weeks and so, with no family/work/friends to distract him from himself, he went back and did almost everything we had discussed. In his next appointment, he was so happy and excited, he wondered, “Why didn’t I do this before?” Within two months, he’d gotten closer to his family, made friends, got a promotion and liked himself a lot more. He ended therapy and is still doing well.
You see, all it takes is a little work, a little ‘positively vibrationed’ and focused energy going the way you mindfully direct it. It’s been proven that what we focus on, we get more of. That what we focus on actually builds stronger connections — communications — within the brain to create a habitual path of thought and behavior, so your life changes according to the energy you have now directed toward it.
In addition, your brain starts working differently. Your actions change. Your emotions and heart grow. When you mindfully choose how you think and act, you are choosing who you want to be in that moment. You are always directly responsible for who you decide to be and for the direction of your life. Even if those decisions were made when you were two years old and came from a two-year-old’s experience, in utero, in a past life — they are stuck on your “response” button when triggered by an outside event. Get the trigger, and without thinking, you respond whether it’s appropriate or not.
So, you can either choose to just ride the current and blame others or wonder why “bad” things happen to you. Or, you can choose to take your life into your own hands, do the work and change your life. It’s really all up to you. Therapy and therapists are a great guide, yet we get to where you want to go fastest when you choose to put in the work, the energy into changing your life to a life of your desires.
Have fun directing your thoughts and energy to where you want to go! Life is just a great big experience in learning and growth, so go out and mindfully explore, moment by moment. Have fun, be blessed, and be a blessing!