Over the years, Spirit has called me progressively forward to share in greater and greater platforms. First a few clients, writing articles, books, a mentoring program, and then a radio show. Each step required me to love another layer of beliefs such as, “Who are you to say this?” or “People will attack you”. All the limiting beliefs I developed through childhood to be small, quiet and obedient would rise up on each expansion.
Recently I was asked by God to claim the next level of my ‘bad-assery’. Oops! Was that not spiritual? Personally, I’d rather be authentic than ‘spiritual’. I was told to include in my website how my guides and I can clear years of negativity, pain and karma from a person. I had to fully disclose the power of how Mother Mary was working through me and as me, in a session.
After I sent the revisions to the web designer, I had a wave of vulnerability and ‘part’ of me that wanted to hide. The ‘part’ that wanted to hide was ‘my 12 year-old’ self; the little girl within me that felt dominated by her step-mother and gave her power away. The little girl that fought with her step-mother for her daddy’s love.
We all have times when a wounded child runs the show. My 12 year-old hid the power of what has been happening in sessions. You know, the times when you react, beg, and throw a tantrum, trying to make things go your way. That may be your 14 year-old. Or, when you worry and shut down, no longer wanting to engage in life. That may be your 5 year-old.
The moment we step up and do the thing we know spirit has called us to do, i.e., quit the job, go back to school, start working out, say no, set a personal boundary, speak up for ourselves etc., the unhealed part of us may rise to the surface. This is good! Embrace this as an opportunity to get to know this part of yourself. Love it and let it grow up.
If you shame yourself or think you are back to square one, then you will miss the opportunity to grow. When we take that risk and ‘step out’, whatever needs to be integrated and re-educated will make itself known. Again, this is good. You haven’t failed.
I had to admit to myself all the times I didn’t speak up with my female students and an employee five years ago. I had to “see my crazy and love it” (direct quote from best selling author and speaker Iyanla Vanzant).
We are always growing until the day we die. We are here to realize more of our divinity from ‘loving our crazy’. If you avoid or deny your crazy, it will come out as self sabotage (over-eating, over-working, isolation, hours of TV, social media, drinking, etc.).
I’ve been using my intuitive gifts to help people since my early twenties, thus I’ve been in healing service most of my life. All that time, I had to be very careful not to put myself on a pedestal. The moment I did, I would painfully ask myself to be perfect, deny my needs, and forget to rest. But you don’t have to do healing work to think your needs are somehow separate and different from the human race. How often does someone give to another what they need to give to themselves? We avoid being kind to ourselves when we don’t want to ‘see our crazy’ and love the wounded child. Self love sometimes brings to the surface the very pain we are avoiding. This is why we are not kind to ourselves.
Our ‘crazy’ (limiting beliefs, repressed emotions) are like pebbles that create avalanches of suffering in our lives. Since this last shift, I have felt more peace and grace in my life. I was guided to re-structure my Self Acceptance Teachers program and sessions. Forgiving and loving my 12 year-old limiting beliefs effected my thyroid health, my inner peace and professional life.
This rippling healing effect is the same I see in sessions and workshops. I am able to see someones core block and power. When we (guides and I) bring up the limiting belief or pain, the person is then guided to love it, feel it, and give it a hug. We don’t try to figure it out, analyze it or gather back story. This simple shift creates profound effects in the person’s health and life. I teach that everyone in your life (especially family) is a mirror into yourself. You don’t need to look any farther than your own family to see what spiritual growth will propel you into your divine destiny. It is a spiritual warrior who knows whatever is triggered within themselves, is about themselves. In the past when I have embraced my wounded parts with my parents or sisters, I saw changes in my body, finances etc. Somehow, I had forgotten that step-parents count too!
God will access things you feel you have already healed. God can’t use your neighbor’s history or someones history you don’t know. Maybe you need to expand into the next awareness of forgiveness so your anger with (fill in the blank) comes up again. Spiritual growth is not linear. Meaning, things are meant to return, to bring you into the next expansion of your-Self. Embrace this opportunity to grow. And…there will also be a time when you do close chapters on issues.
Remember, you are already amazing, powerful and gifted, and waking up to this fact. You are here to be a living example of God through loving yourself. Playing small hurts you and those around you. Don’t hide your ‘bad-assery’ anymore. No matter your occupation, you can inspire people by being your authentic self. Being yourself is enough. Creation needs you to shine all that you have already been given, in the little, and big ways that you can.
