by Barbra White
When I was told at the tender age of 23 by my hero and mentor that I was going to hell for being bisexual, I tried desperately to kill my authentic expression. This self-containment led to depression and darkness, ultimately to the life-changing realization that the Divine Loves ALL parts of me. Loving all parts, the guilt, the hate, the fear, I found a me that was beyond yet included. EVERYTHING within me is lovable…and ultimately is Love; I discovered that NO-THING can separate me from God. I realized the most remarkable human arrogance is to think these parts are separate. These inner realizations were the beginning of my service, writing six books and Self Acceptance Process. Twenty-three years after listening deeply to hundreds of people’s journeys, serving, and growing, I am confident that everyone is fundamentally good, worthy, and an expression of Love.
People who love all parts gently and organically surrender to their inherent worth… and love people. We are 100% responsible for healing our stuff… but NOT at fault. Shame only causes people to hurt more, be addicted, and hurt others.
Generational trauma is passed on to us. We have systematic systems of oppression. Hurt people…. hurt people, and this is not the individual’s fault. Our systems are broken…but the Essence of who someone is can NEVER be broken.
Looking within is scary for everyone. I think the ego tries to convince you that you will discover something horrible. You WILL NOT. Look within, and you will have to face pain, trauma, and ancestral trauma. This doesn’t sound easy…. I know. It does take effort. AND I have seen with a tiny bit of willingness to grow, to love all parts… there is a harmony, grace, or divine Presence that helps you. Your Soul knows wholeness…it knows the path. No darkness is bigger than Universal Love or God. If I can heal from childhood incest…you can heal.
Miracles are possible. The darkness SERVES the light. The mud brings louts flowers. Face the pain, and you will realize the Divine Love you Truly Are.
Your Soul. The Real You IS bigger than any trauma, pain, or issue. The trauma is the mud to your self-realization. You are fundamentally good. You were created in God/Divines’ image. No pain, trauma, or someone’s hate can change the core of Who You Are. You Are Love.
Trust is the opposite of shame. Trust Who You Are. Absolute freedom comes in feeling how connected you are. Relaxing into our Essential Self is the opposite of shame. Loving all parts is your doorway to Trust.
Shame is “I am bad” or “I am unworthy,” “I must earn my worth,” or there is “fundamental badness within me” The trauma or pain is not your fault.
The Real You…cannot be fought for, earned, or lost. It’s You. It’s Who the Divine made you to be.
You are fundamentally good. When someone says “good girl” to my doggie Masa, I usually playfully say, “Fundamentally good .”I know she doesn’t know the difference; however, the re-languaging of a simple phrase is life-changing for me. This perspective is epically different than most of our upbringings that conditioned us to be a “good boy” or “good girl.” Most care-takers didn’t distinguish between punishing behavior and punishing the person. Possibly they didn’t know the difference– or were raised the same way.
Also, shame is a very effective control mechanism used by religion, educational systems, parents, etc… And maybe at their core, like all us humans, they didn’t trust their True Self or Essential Nature, or inner light. Why??? Because surrendering the shame means letting go of ALL our survival mechanisms that have become our limited identity, this is the Self-Acceptance Process. You free yourself by going towards pain and compassionately witnessing the parts that attack ourselves or others (shame). Do the inner work. Learn from a trauma-informed mentor or therapist who has done their inner work. Your dreams and inner peace are MORE than possible.
Today, I identify as cis-gender, straight appearing, bi-sexual, ecologically identified, monogamous, spiritual badass, queen of a woman. 😊And–I Am Love. May we all celebrate our diverse bodies, sexualities, colors, identities, painful parts, and backgrounds–HELD by the consciousness of Who We Truly Are. Love.
I am living my dream of an animal sanctuary, finishing my next book with my beloved husband and rescued animals. We host day retreats and mini-retreats with chi-gong, self-acceptance, somatic trauma healing, and equine therapy. We’d love to help you.
Love you. Need You. All Beings Are Holy. Barbra WhiteCrow.
Self-Love inspirational talk WITH Horses, Heart Opening Chi Kong, and gentle Yoga! May 21, 10-12pm Donation Scale $30-55.
MotherBearSanctuary.com 734-796-6690
